VICEVI.4

12 May 1995 - 19 Dec 1999

Topics

  1. najbolji (68)
  2. bosanci (305)
  3. djetici (148)
  4. perica (96)
  5. pitalice (500)
  6. esnafski (308)
  7. politicki (587)
  8. sexy (333)
  9. bljak (113)
  10. crnjaci (414)
  11. bez.veze (369)
  12. english (369)
  13. lale (58)
  14. plavuse (307)
  15. razno (3017)
  16. unknown (22)

Messages - plavuse

plavuse.1 zkrstic,
sou, ovo je tema za vicevo o plavušama, a ja sam fin pa Vam inicijalizujem temu u SOR-u ;) Zkr :)
plavuse.3 majstor,
Q: Zasto plavuse sahranjuju u trouglastom kovcegu ? A: Zato sto ne mogu da im skupe noge.
plavuse.4 peca,
Ne znam da li je bilo.. Sta dobijas kada plavusu dobro okupas?? Cistu budalastinu!
plavuse.5 cnenad,
Kako prepoznati računar na kojem je plavuša igrala video igre ? Džojstik je sav umazan karminom.
plavuse.6 dr.grba,
>> Kako prepoznati računar na kojem je plavuša igrala video igre ? U čemu je razlika između Tetrisa i plavuše? Tetris ima pauzu.
plavuse.7 zvojinovic,
nadam se da nije bilo.... zasto plavusa igra oko semafora?????? misli da je u diskoteci:)
plavuse.8 vlasta,
Kako nejlakse ubiti plavusu? Stavis roto/reklamu u cosak
plavuse.9 huanito,
u cemu je razlika izmedju broda i plavuse?? nisu svi brodovi kitolovci:)))
plavuse.10 huanito,
sta pise na plavusinom grobu?? ovde sam prvi put legla sama ;))
plavuse.11 toro,
Idu crnka i plavuša: c: gle, mrtva ptica (gledajući dole) p:Đ gde gde (gledajući gore)?
plavuse.12 ndreadnought,
U čemu je razlika između kvočke i plavuše? Kvočka zna šta traži na jajima
plavuse.13 ivanb,
Sta radi plavusa kad ustane ujutru? Obuce se pa ode kuci:))
plavuse.14 zkecman,
Sta plavusa radi kad ujutru ustane? Kaze:" Hvala momci". Ili :"Zar svi igrate za isti tim". Ili se predstavi.
plavuse.15 zdravko,
>>Kaze : "Hvala momci".ili "Zar svi igrate za isti tim" ili se predstavi Ili opere zube i ode kuci.
plavuse.16 dr.grba,
>> Sta radi plavusa kad ustane ujutru? 1. Napravi doručak. 2. Upozna se. 3. Ode kući. Dokumentovano odaaaaaavno.
plavuse.17 zkecman,
Sta radi plavusa kad ustane : 1. Kaze: "Hvala momci" 2. Kaze: "Zar svi igrate za Zvdu" 3. ... Sve u svemu prepricano odavno.
plavuse.18 albert,
Kako plavuša igra Game Boy? Sedne na Game Boy i viče 'Do kraja care,do kraja' ;))
plavuse.19 rss.brothers,
Zasto plavusa drzi trenerku u ustima? zato sto nezna da cita latinicu.
plavuse.20 rss.brothers,
sta dobijes kad stanes plavusi na glavu? vazdusni djon
plavuse.25 plukovic,
Q: Zasto plavusa ima modricu na pupku? A: Zato sto ni plavi frajeri nisu neka inteligencija. Bez uvrede! :->
plavuse.26 dejanr,
Šta piše ispod tri dugmeta na plavušinom čelu? 1. Sucking 2. Fucking 3. Off
plavuse.27 dejanr,
Došla plavuša kod frizera, sa vokmenom. Naruči frizuru, zamoli je frizer da skine vokmen, ona kaže ne dolazi u obzir. Krene frizer da joj pravi frizuru, ali mu mnoooogo smeta vokmen. Najzad ga onako potajno isključi i skloni, kao neće ona primetiti. Neki minut docnije, plavuša mrtva! Kasnije se na uviđaju pokazalo da je na traci snimljeno: "UDAHNI... IZDAHNI... UDAHNI... IZDAHNI... UDAHNI..."
plavuse.29 maksa,
Q: Zašto plavuša 2 sata blene u flašu sa sokom ? A: Na flaši piše: CONCENTRATE.
plavuse.30 iivanic,
P: Sta plavisa kaze kada se probudi ispod krave ? O: Momci, pa vi ste jos tu ?!? Pozdrav Ivan ! plavuse.txt
plavuse.31 chadra,
Možda je bio, ali... Q: Zašto plavuša nosi cipele sa štiklama? A: Da joj se klitoris ne vuče po zemlji.
plavuse.32 dizel,
Ne znam da li je bilo,ali nema veze,... Šta dobiješ kad ubaciš plavušu u čist alkohol? Liker od mentola !!! :))))
plavuse.33 toda,
Ej! Izvinte ako je bilo..... Za kojim kopijuterom je plavuša kucala tekst? Za onim čiji je monitor umazan korektorom (ispravljala je greške pri kucanju) TODA P.S. Otvorena je grupa FON.95 pristup imaju svi brucoši sa FON-a!!!
plavuse.34 supers,
>> Šta dobiješ kad ubaciš plavušu u čist alkohol? A dizela?
plavuse.35 kenza,
(;> P.S. Otvorena je grupa FON.95 pristup imaju svi brucosi sa FON-a!!! Jel su i ti brucosi bajati kao i vicevi im ? :>
plavuse.36 maksa,
>> Jel su i ti brucosi bajati kao i vicevi im ? :> Jesu. ;) U to ime, sretan prelazak u ovu elitnu ;) visokoobrazovnu ustanovu svim otpadnicima svih tehničkih fakulteta (ETF, GF, MF, TF, PMF ... jesmo svi tu?) čestitamo pesmom: "Ko se s' nama druži, fakultet mu je duži". Takođe, specijalan pozdrav za daroneta sa lenjirima, uz pesmu: "Što mi noži nemaju svanuža, zašto Plato postade mi kuža" i za kraj, cdraganu, treću maturu čestitamo pesmom: "Osamnaest ti je godina tek" ;)
plavuse.37 schef,
­=-> >> Šta dobiješ kad ubaciš plavušu u čist alkohol? ­=->  ­=->  A dizela? Nemoguće.Možeš alkohol u dizela.
plavuse.38 violator,
:>> >> Šta dobiješ kad ubaciš plavušu u čist alkohol? :>> :>> A dizela? Ubaciš dizela u šampanjac i dobiješ brlju ;>.
plavuse.39 cubra,
Zašto plavuša roni po pudingu? Traži Dr.Oetker-a
plavuse.40 sdanijel,
U BEOGRADU IMA MNOGO LEPIH PLAVUSA CAST IZUZETCIMA
plavuse.41 byte,
Jel znate sta se dobije kad zgazis plavusi na lice ?? Patike sa vazdusnim djonom !!!
plavuse.42 ivanb,
Kad ubacis dizela u alkohol dizel se napije:> (to je isto kao kad ubacish plavushu u alkohol)
plavuse.44 dejanr,
>> =============================== >> 14.64 VICEVI.4:english >> jablan, 25.11.Sub 15:16, 121 chr >> --------------------------------------------------------- >> 'Ajd, reko', možda nije bilo: >> >> 'To do is to be.' - Descartes >> 'To be is to do.' - Sartre >> 'To be do be do.' - Sinatra >> -----------------------------------------------14.64 --- Moja "omiljenija" varijanta tog vica: Polagale Crnka, Riđokosa i Plavuša filozofiju. I kaže im profa, navedite po jednu izjavu nekog velikog filozofa: Crnka: To do si to be - Dekart Riđokosa: To be is to do - Sartr Plavuša: To-bi-do-bi-do - Sinatra
plavuse.45 dr.grba,
Q: Zašto plavušA nema dlake oko pičke? A: A gde si ti video da trava raste na autoputu?
plavuse.47 wiper,
evo kompilacije viceva o plavusama (sve je na engleskom tako sam dobio) plavuse.arj
plavuse.48 mileusna,
Q: Šta kaže plavuša svome detetu kad se rodi? A: E dete, dete... Ja sam od svojih ustiju odvajala za tebe.
plavuse.49 misar,
Koja je razlika izmedju muskarca i plavuse ? Plavusa ima vise spermatozoida.
plavuse.50 markojo,
Kako da nateras plavusu da ti ustane iz krila ? Samo kazes "Dodji" ! ;> Marko
plavuse.51 markojo,
Koje dve stvari koje su u vazduhu mogu da nateraju plavusu da zatrudni ? Njene noge ;> Marko
plavuse.52 markojo,
Sede plavusa, crnka, i ridjokosa u baru. Crnka: Daj mi J&T Barmen: ? Crnka: Jin & Tonik Ridjokosa: Meni daj B&C Barmen: ?? Ridjokosa: Brandy & Cola Plavusa: Ja cu 15 ! Barmen: ??? Plavusa: 7up & 7up ;>>>>> Marko
plavuse.53 mileusna,
Q: Zašto plavuša nema dlake _dole_? A: Pa gde ste vi videli da trava raste pored auto-puta? :)
plavuse.54 superhik,
=:> Q: Zašto plavuša nema dlake _dole_? =:> =:> A: Pa gde ste vi videli da trava raste pored auto-puta? :) """"" Valjda 'na sred'?
plavuse.55 embe,
Q: Zasto Bog ne voli plavuse? A: Zato sto one govore: Iz mojih usta u bozije usi.
plavuse.56 dj.vlada,
D:\> Q: Zasto Bog ne voli plavuse? D:\> A: Zato sto one govore: Iz mojih usta u bozije usi. Bog mora da ima VElIKEEEE usi......:))))) ..... da bi bolje cuo :))))))
plavuse.57 dzaja,
1 Kakva je rezlika izmedju plavuse i kornjace ? plavusa se bolje snalazi na ledjima.
plavuse.58 kaiser,
Rodi se plavuši dete (napokon je dolijala) i ona mu kaže: " E, sine, zbog tebe sam odvajala od usta!"
plavuse.59 staos,
Q:Sta dobijes kada stavis plavusu u kljucalu vodu? A:Caj od mentola. :))
plavuse.60 embe,
Zasto plavusa ne pusi na ulici? Da ne bi iscepala carape na kolenima.
plavuse.61 marshall,
Zasto plavusa kopa po pudingu??? Trazi Dr.Oetker-a. :)
plavuse.62 johnnya,
Prolazila plavuša pored politikine zgrade, pogleda u vis i reče: - Uuuuu, koliki kiosk ! ■■ Johnnya ■■
plavuse.63 ivanb,
Kako nasmejati plavusu u ponedeljak ujutru? Ispricati joj vic u petak uvece :)
plavuse.64 maher,
Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i psa? Psu treba da kazes lezi! :))))))
plavuse.65 maher,
Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i kornjace. ODGOVOR: Plavusa se bolje snalazi na ledjima.
plavuse.66 embe,
Zasto plavusa nosi konopac kada ide u pekaru ? Zato sto na pekari pise : Uvek svezi burek.
plavuse.67 schef,
P: Zašto plavuša jede novine? O: Da bi čitala u sebi. Bojan
plavuse.68 mirijevac,
Znate li da su BMW i Mercedes izbacili novu seriju dvosed automobila, gde suvozac sedi iza vozaca, a automobil je uzi od klasicnih za pola. Znate li zasto? Da bi dizelas i plavusa mogli da izbace oba lakta kroz prozor. BMW M3 5-20 1/2 DUBBLE i MERCEDES 600 1/2 SEC (SerbianEditionCut) Pozdrav YUGO 45
plavuse.69 beatifullgirl,
Zasto plavusa gura prstom naocare? Viri joj k***c iz ociju.
plavuse.71 miccko,
Zasto moderator brise viceve o plavusama ? Zato sto se ofarbao u plavo :)
plavuse.73 maher,
Q: Sto se plavusi crveni oko pupka? A:Pa, ni plavusani nisu bas pametni! :))
plavuse.74 maher,
Q: Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i Titanika? A: Zna se koliko je ljudi bilo na Titaniku!
plavuse.75 maher,
Q: Kakva je razlika izmedju daske za peglanje i plavuse? A: Na dasci za peglanje je teze rasiriti noge.
plavuse.77 dbambi,
Prolazi plavuša ulicom i vidi na banderi zalepljen oglas na kome piše da se izdaje stan. Ona pokuca na benderu, ne bi li se raspitala u uslovima plaćanja, međutim, niko joj nije otvorio ni posle nekoliko ponovljenih pokušaja. Nailazi murkan i vidi je kako kuca na banderu. Pita je on šta to radi i ona mu objasni kako bi htela da razgovara sa ukućanima u vezi iznajmljivanja stana, ali da niko ne otvara vrata. " Verovatno nisu kod kuće. Vidiš, ostavili su upaljeno svetlo " reče joj murkan. Bambi
plavuse.80 mpavlo,
Q: Zasto plavusa skace sa petog sprata? A: Isprobava nove uloske sa krilcima.
plavuse.81 mila,
Q:Zašto plavuša jede novine? a:Neko joj je rekao da čita u sebi!
plavuse.82 mila,
Q: Zašto plavuša jede časovnik? A: Zato što "tic-tac" ima samo dve kalorije!
plavuse.83 kaplan,
Sta kaze plavusa kada joj svrsis u uvo? Hvala sto si dolio. Sta kazu plavusine noge kad ih pere? Ah, najzad zajedno. Slicnost izmedju plavuse i boce za pivo? Obe su prazne od grla na gore.
plavuse.84 mila,
Dolazi plavka u pekaru i pita: "#šta imate za jelo?" Prodavačica:"samo moment" Plavka:"Dobro, dajte mi dva momenta i jogurt"
plavuse.85 vvul,
Zasto plavusa lezi na sred ulice? Muva lezeceg policajca.
plavuse.86 vica,
Zasto je Windows95 bolji od svake rasne plavuse. Zato sto ga uvek obori do kraja!!!
plavuse.87 sale.car,
ne videh ovaj: Q: Zasto pl. lize sat ??? A: Cula je da tik-tak ima samo 2 kalorije cya
plavuse.88 bokia,
Zasto se plavusa valja po podu? Zato sto muva lezeceg policajca .
plavuse.89 baker,
> Zasto se plavusa valja po podu? > Zato sto muva lezeceg policajca . Sta ce lezeci policajac na podu?! Valjda po ulici (asfaltu).. ..
plavuse.90 igors,
>>>> Zato sto muva lezeceg policajca . >> >>Sta ce lezeci policajac na podu?! >>Valjda po ulici (asfaltu).. Mislim da to njemu nece smetati! Igor Stankovic
plavuse.91 baker,
Zasto plavusa nosi pusku oko pasa? >> Zato sto jos nije kupila pistolj! :))) ..
plavuse.93 rale.s,
? Zašto su plavuše debele kad ostare ? Re: Zbog navike da trpaju u sebe sve čega se dokopaju.
plavuse.94 vica,
Zasto napaljeni i isfrustrirani Sezamovci smisljaju viceve o plavusama? Zato sto je to jedini nacin da ih j*bu u zdrav mozak !!!
plavuse.96 dr.grba,
Zašto plavuša trči oko kade? Pere kosu šamponom "Wash and Go" (:
plavuse.97 toda,
Ej! Shta plavusa radi izmedju 2 Slovenca? SMETA IM! TODA
plavuse.98 slayer,
Sta bog ne voli da cuje od plavuse? Iz mojih usta u bozije usi
plavuse.99 lada,
Razgovaraju dve plavuse: - Je li, jel' se tebi , mislim, ono, posle seksa pusi? Jao, meni se strasno pusi. - Meni ne... U stvari, ne znam. Mislim, nikad nisam pogledala dole, ali valjda bi' primetila dim.
plavuse.100 byte,
Gde bi plavusha najvishe volela da zhivi ? U NEVADI ;)
plavuse.101 stealth,
-Šta kaže plavuša kad provali da je trudna? -Možda nije moje
plavuse.102 johnnya,
Zašto plavuša ne sme da se skija na vodi ? . . . \_/ Legne čim joj se gaćice ovlaže ...
plavuse.103 passinger,
Šta kaže plavuša svom tek rođenom sinu ? Zbog tebe sam odvajala od usta.
plavuse.104 slalevic,
Kako se zove dete plavuse i portorikanca? Retardo.
plavuse.105 lada,
Sedi plavuša u busu u mikro mini suknji. Frajeru preko puta ispale oči. - Šta ste zinuli toliko? - ljutito će ona. - Izvinite, gospođice, ali živ sam čovek, a kod vas baš ima šta da se vidi. - To nije razlog da tako buljite. Uostalom, ja nisam gospođica, nego gospođa. - E, pa izvinite, gospođo, ali toliko se već ne vidi.
plavuse.106 nukite,
Sta pise plavusi na grobu? "PRVI PUT JE LEGLA SAMA"
plavuse.107 nukite,
Zasto se most srusi kad plavusa hoda preko njega? Pametniji popusta!
plavuse.111 lada,
ON: Draga, jesam li ti prvi? Plavuša: Pa, možda i jesi. Da znaš da mi se činiš nešto poznat.
plavuse.112 slalevic,
Zaustavlja pandur plavusu Pandur: Dobar dan gospodjo, molim vas vozacku dozvolu Plavusa: A sta je to? Pandur: Pa to vam je ono roze na kojem se nalazi vasa slika i koje znaci da znate da vozite. Plavusa: A to, evo vam. Pandur: Molim vas sada saobracajnu dozvolu. Plavusa: A sta je to? Pandur: To vam je ono sivo koje znaci da smete da vozite ova kola. Plavusa: A znam sta je to, evo vam. Sada pandur pocne da otkopcava slic i izvadi qrac. Plavusa: Sta zar opet alko-test?
plavuse.113 river,
Zašto plavuša nosi trenerku na glavi :))))))))))))))))))) Zato što na trenerci piše Kapa.
plavuse.114 river,
Zašto plavuša trpa u usta trenerku na kojoj piše Kapa. Ne zna da čita latinicu!!!!!
plavuse.115 toda,
II O M O 3 b O I~ Sta plavusa uradi kada naidje na integral? Pokusa da oduva dlaku! TODA
plavuse.116 lada,
Polazi plavuša na žurku. Mama je ispraća: - Budi dobra i lepo se provedi. - Mama, odluči se.
plavuse.117 nukite,
Zasto plavuse imaju ravno teme? Kad piju vodu lupi ih daska po glavi! :)
plavuse.118 dr.grba,
>> Kad piju vodu lupi ih daska po glavi! :) Ne, to je evolutivna pojava: da može da joj se stavi krigla piva na glavu dok puši q*ac.
plavuse.119 slalevic,
Zasto plavusa ljubi banderu? Lozi se na Antonia Banderasa.
plavuse.120 lada,
Uzgred budi receno, Banderas na spanskom znaci "zastava" odnosno mnozina od iste. Nadam se samo da narecenom gospodinu ono drugo prezime koje imaju Spanci (po majci) nije Rojas (citaj: Rohas), sto je takodje regularno spansko prezime, ali bi u kombinaciji sa prethodnim znacilo Crvene Zastave!!!:))) A odatle do Yugo Floride nije daleko.
plavuse.122 slalevic,
Bilo bi jos gore kad bi mu drugo prezime bilo Cojones (citaj:kohones) a posto vidim da i ti vladas spanskim jezikom shvatices prevod. Odatle do uskrska nije daleko.
plavuse.123 zsavkov,
Da li neko može da mi kaže kako da downlod-ujem sve fazone o plavusama. ▀█ ¸│
plavuse.124 zsavkov,
Da li neko može da mi (po)kaže kako da download-ujem sve viceve iz teme o plavušama. Unapred zahvalan...
plavuse.125 nukite,
> Da li neko moze da mi kaze kako da downlod-ujem > sve fazone o plavusama. Izidji u komand. prompt i kucaj conf. Onda kucaj "open vicevi". Onda kucaj: "read plavuse /a >". On ce da ih spakuje. Kad bude gotovo, onda kucaj "pad download". Poslace ga u pad i na tvoj hard disk, ili disketu ako imas amigu ;)
plavuse.127 sale.car,
Nu> Izidji u komand. prompt i kucaj conf. Onda kucaj "open vicevi". Nu> Onda kucaj: "read plavuse /a >". On ce da ih spakuje. Kad bude Nu> gotovo, onda kucaj "pad download". Poslace ga u pad i na tvoj hard Nu> disk, ili disketu ako imas amigu ;) A da se ovo prebaci u pitanja !? Ipak su ovo vicevi... Moderator brise dobre viceve a ovo ostaje... Ako i ovo obrise svaka mu cast ! ... Pozdrav, Sale.Car
plavuse.128 river,
=> Onda kucaj: "read plavuse /a >". On ce da ih spakuje. Kad => bude ╔══════════╗ Da bi spakovao moraš iz komandnog prompta da otkucaš║ pad arc .║ ╚══════════╝
plavuse.129 ztasic,
> Da li neko moze da mi (po)kaze kako da download-ujem sve viceve > iz teme o plavusama. Preporucujem ti: dos\fun\blonde.zip opis: najveca kolekcija viceva o plavusama (engleski)...
plavuse.130 mileusna,
>> Da li neko može da mi (po)kaže kako da download-ujem sve viceve >> iz teme o plavušama. CO JO VICEVI.4 CO RE 14.1- > PAD DOWN
plavuse.131 lada,
Zar tebi niko nije rekao da o plavusama uopste nema viceva? Sve je istina ;)
plavuse.132 fortuna,
Sta plavusa radi na putu? Udvara se lezecem policajcu
plavuse.133 mrades,
PITANJE: Sta rade 17 plavusa ispred diskoteke.ODGOVOR:Cekaju 18-tu,jer je ulaz ispod 18 ZABRANJEN.
plavuse.134 tgor,
Sta se dobije kad se plavusi nabije patika na glavu ? -vazdusni don
plavuse.135 fortuna,
zasto plavusa ne sme da sedne na bar-stolicu? da joj ne udje:)))))))
plavuse.136 schef,
Iz zadnjeg Nedeljnog Telegrafa: PLAVUŠE NISU GLUPE, ALI... Plavuše nisu gluplje od brineta ili crvenokosih - pokazuje novo istraživanje - samo sporije obrađuju informacije, treba im više vremena da reaguju na podsticaje i, u poređenju sa drugim ženama, zadržavaju manje informacija tokom kraćeg vremenskog perioda. "Ovo istraživanje trebalo bi da stavi tačku na uvredljivo mišljenje da su plavuše praznoglave" - kaže dr. Andrea Štener, plavuša i sociolog iz Nemačke, koja je tokom ovog istraživanja proučavala više od 3.000 žena. (Redakcija se izvinjava plavušama. Prosto nismo odoleli.) :))))))))
plavuse.137 mrades,
(ne)znam da li je bio! Q:Kako je naj lakse ubiti plavusu? A:Postaviti roto reklamu u cosak! SLEDECI: Q:Sta govori plavusa kada +sedne pinokiju na nos? A:Hajde lazi sad malo!
plavuse.139 mrades,
Q;Koja je razlika izmedju PLAVUSE i BRODA? A:Nisu sve plavuse KITOLOVCI!
plavuse.140 zeljkoj,
> A:Nisu sve plavuse KITOLOVCI! Valjda: nisu svi brodovi...? :)
plavuse.141 lexus,
=> Q;Koja je razlika izmedju PLAVUSE i BRODA? => A:Nisu sve plavuse KITOLOVCI! A svi brodovi jesu ;)
plavuse.143 lada,
Znam da ste culi, ali za one koji nisu, transparent sa studentskog protesta: "I plavuse su ukapirale".
plavuse.144 baker,
Sta radi plavusa sa Pinokiom ? Sedne mu na nos, i tera ga da laze ! :))))
plavuse.145 toda,
II O M O 3 6 O I~ Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i kompijutera? Kompijuter ima taster <ENTER>, kod plavuse se to podrazumeva! T O JL A
plavuse.146 simce,
> Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i kompijutera? Plavusha je neshto pametnija :))
plavuse.147 canny,
> Kompijuter ima taster <ENTER>, kod plavuse se to podrazumeva! Neki imaju <RETURN> :)
plavuse.148 toda,
II O M O 3 6 O I~ <T> Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i kompijutera? Kompijuter ima misa, plavusa zlatnu ribicu! T O JL A
plavuse.149 n.ceh,
> Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i kompijutera? Si> Plavusha je neshto pametnija :)) Da... plavusa zna da napise _kompjuter_ (bez i). Ceh.
plavuse.151 schef,
Zašto je Bog izmislio plavuše ? - Zato što ovca ne zna da donese pivo iz frižidera. A zašto je izmislio crnke ? - Zato što ni plavuša to ne zna. ;) G.
plavuse.154 baldrick,
Neki baja napisao kod mene u liftu, mozda je bilo: - Zasto plavushi viri perje iz nosa? - Zato shto je shmrkala koku. Eto smje'a...
plavuse.155 tgor,
Koja je razlika izmedju plavuse i kokoske ? -kokoska mirno sedi na jajima
plavuse.156 abosko,
Zasto plavuse sahranjuju u trougaone kovcege? Zato sto ne mogu da im skupe noge!!!
plavuse.157 jjerry,
Q:Koja je razlika izmedju plavuse i lopte za kuglanje ? A:I plavuse i lopta imaju tri rupe za trpanje. "Enciklopedija viceva o plavusama"
plavuse.165 mmilosh,
> Q:Koja je razlika izmedju plavuse i lopte za kuglanje ? > A:I plavuse i lopta imaju tri rupe za trpanje. A1:Plavuša ne može da stane u kuglu. A2:U kuglu staju samo tri prsta.
plavuse.166 spiderman,
Zasto plavusa ima crni cuperak u kosi ? Pravi se pametna .
plavuse.167 vaiv,
Idu plavusa i crnka parkom i kaze crnka plavusi C-Jao vidi mrtva ptiŔica A plavusa pogleda nebo i ka×e P-gde je
plavuse.168 dimitrijevic,
********************************************************************** 2. Zaustavila patrola plavusu. Pandur : Dobar dan molim isprave. Plavusa : Staa !???? Pandur : Molim vozacku dozvolu. Plavusa : A, sta je to????? Pandur : Pobogu zeno ona mala roze knjizica. Plavusa trazi po tasni : Jeli ovo ???? Pandur : Ma nee... Plavusa posle par pokusaja nekako pronadje vozacku dozvolu, ali isto bi i sa saobracajnom. Kad su se najzad sporazumeli, pandur ode do patrolnih kola i rece kolegi : Ona plavusa je mnogo glupa, idi zamajavaj je dok ja proverim isprave. Kolega ni 5 ni 6 nego izvadi "djoku" i tresne plavusi na haubu. Kad ce plavusa: Jaaaooooo! opet alko test.
plavuse.169 geronimo,
Ovo je mix 2. najceshca lika koji se pojavljuju u vicevima. Voze se plavusha i pandur u kolima.Ono noc pala nishta se zivo ne vidi kad odjednom ispred kola pretrci guska Plavusha: Jao vidi labud!!:)) Pandur:Ma nije to labud,to je pelikan.Od njega se prave gumice.
plavuse.170 vlajel,
kako plavuse i fudbaler resavaju ukrstene reci? -Grad u Italiji, 3 slova.....................TRS -Zivotinja sa kucicom, 3 slova...............KER -Vidi sliku, 4 slova........................VIDO -Sestrin muz, 3 slova........................ACA ;)))))))))) -Inicijali pesnika Jesenjina..................PJ -Biblijska licnost, 3 slova..................POP -Izumitelj necega, 10 slova..........KAKAV COVEK -Vrsta metala, 4 slova......................PLEH -Devojka crne kose, 8 slova...........E NISAM JA -Morski greben, 2 slova.......................MG -Deo matematike, 5 slova...................MATIS -Gradjanin Tirane, 7 slova...............TIRANIN -Deo kupatila, 4 slova......................VODA -Sportista na strunjaci, 9 slova......STRUNJACAR -Dozivljaj pri spavanju, 3 slova.............SEX -Sat, 8 slova..........................TIKA TAKA -Nije gladan, 3 slova........................JEO -Teska bolest, 4 slova......................SMRT
plavuse.171 zoxy,
> kako plavuse i fudbaler resavaju ukrstene reci? > -Izumitelj necega, 10 slova..........KAKAV COVEK > -Vrsta metala, 4 slova......................PLEH :))))) Strasno!!! S tim sto imas jednu pravopisnu gresku: -Vrsta metala, 4 slova......................PLEH valjda treba: -Vrsta metala, 4 slova......................PLEK ;)
plavuse.172 the.edge,
Uzeto iz knjige "kad ja tamo ono medjutim"... AcCeSS DeNiED
plavuse.174 ancha,
> kako plavusa i fudbaler resavaju ukrstene reci? KAKO STUDENT ETF-A REŠAVA UKRŠTENE REČI...? -Grad u Italiji, 3 slova...........videću na apsolvenskoj exkurziji -Zivotinja sa kucicom, 3 slova.....student ETF-a na fakultetoo -Vidi sliku, 4 slova...............metoda konturnih struja -Sestrin muz, 3 slova..............kad će da se uda više? -Inicijali pesnika Jesenjina.......nemamo književnost u I godini -Biblijska licnost, 3 slova........GAUSS -Izumitelj necega, 10 slova........Raša Popov -Vrsta metala, 4 slova.............Bakar -Devojka crne kose, 8 slova........pa zar kod nas nisu sve takve?(one tri) -Morski greben, 2 slova............u sledećih min. 5 god. neću videti isti -Deo matematike, 5 slova...........BOOLE-ova algebra -Gradjanin Tirane, 7 slova.........e blago njemu on nema ETF -Deo kupatila, 4 slova.............deo? celo kupatilo je pisoar -Sportista na strunjaci, 9 slova...ortak na elektrijadi -Dozivljaj pri spavanju, 3 slova...šta je to spavanje? -Sat, 8 slova......................3600sec.-3700 ako misliš da završiš ETF -Nije gladan, 3 slova..............u Loli za 1.70 din. -Teska bolest, 4 slova.............kratak spoj (može i 'ladan lem) cu
plavuse.176 gmatic,
KAKO TESLAS RESAVA UKRSTENICE!!!!!!!!! Grad u Italiji, 6 slova...........SOPING Zivotinja sa kucicom, 7 slova.....RACUNAR Vidi sliku, 6 slova...............NEMA JE Sestrin muz, 3 slova..............KSB (Koje Sestre Bre?) Inicijali pesnika Jesenjina.......JE Biblijska licnost, 3 slova........M?T (Milorad ? TONNY neznam prezime) Izumitelj necega, 4 slova.........KNEZ Vrsta metala, 10 slova............DIELEKTRIK Devojka crne kose, 8 slova........OVDE NEMA Morski greben, 2 slova............GR Deo matematike, 6 slova...........BAKICA Gradjanin Tirane, 7 slova.........ALBANAC Deo kupatila, 7 slova.............PLOCICE Sportista na strunjaci, 9 slova...CRNI SPAVA Dozivljaj pri spavanju, 3 slova...HRK Sat, 8 slova......................36000000 (u desethiljaditnikama) Nije gladan, 3 slova..............SPE Teska bolest, 3 slova.............OET CU!
plavuse.177 ica.z,
> Biblijska licnost, 3 slova........M?T (Milorad ? TONNY neznam prezime) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Jovanovic, al' kakve veze ovo ima s' temom Vicevi:plavuse??? A evo kako saobracajac reshava ukrshtene rechi!!! (iz saobracajne;) Udobna Stolica, 6 slova..................Kadica Vrsta sata, 6 slova......................Cajger Zarazna bolest, 10 slova.................Alkoholizam Ono shto brzo propada, 5 slova...........Jugic Mera Za Snagu, 3 slova...................Konj Nije Gladan, 3 slova.....................Car Vrsta Metala, 5 slova....................Metal Devojka Plave Kose, 7 slova..............Glupacha Vidi Sliku, 9 slova......................Koja Ribaa Grad u SHpaniji, 9 slova.................San Marino Mera Za Duzinu, 5 slova..................Kubik Skracenica za Savezno Izvrshno Vece......MUP Vrsta Zeljaste Biljke....................Vutra aj CU
plavuse.178 lada,
Ma zezajte se vi sa ukrštenim rečima, ali to uopšte NIJE vic. To je jedan relativno poznati fudbaler STVARNO tako rešavao. Dobro, sigurno ne sve (kasnije je napravljena proširena lista), ali se dobro sećam nekoliko fazona koje sam čula (moguće da sam nešto i zaboravila) Morski greben____________________MG Nije gladan______________________JEO Ženin brat_______________________DUŠKO Svečano (ili večernje) odelo_____CRNO Dever moje drugarice je bio fudbaler, pa sam čula iz prve ruke (ok - druge :))), zna čoveka imenom i prezimenom, samo nije fer da sad pominjem.
plavuse.182 dr.grba,
>> Svečano (ili večernje) odelo_____CRNO Svečano odelo (5 slova) .... TEGET Vidi sliku (5 slova) ....... VIDIM Važan začin (2 slova) ...... CE I ostali davno pobrojani biseri... >> Dever moje drugarice je bio fudbaler, pa sam čula iz prve ruke >> (ok - druge :))), zna čoveka imenom i prezimenom, samo nije fer da >> sad pominjem. "Alo mama, ovde Dragiša Binić!"
plavuse.185 darth.vader,
>> Vazan zacin (2 slova) ...... CE Ja znam za: Vazan zacin (2 slova).......... AP (Aleva Paprika) ;)
plavuse.186 maksa,
>> -Sestrin muz, 3 slova........................ACA ;)))))))))) Kumova žena, 4 ....................................... RADA Ženin otac, 4 slova .................................. MIĆA
plavuse.187 nenad,
> Kumova žena, 4 ....................................... RADA Kumova žena, 4 ....................................... DANA Ili je ovo trebalo u političke? ;) ps. "A da li gospodine Šešelj među vašim školskim drugovima ima nekog poznatog rokera?" ;) (c) Olja Bećković
plavuse.188 jocca,
Sta plavusa prvo pomisli kad ostane u drugom stanju? Mozda dete nije moje!
plavuse.189 zemljak,
Pa nisu plavuse bas tako lose!!! Zemljak. .exit close KAKO SE ODAVDE IZLAZI ? :)
plavuse.190 mojke,
(Ovo je mesavina plavusa i policajaca) Kakva je slicnost izmedju plavusa i policajaca? I jedni i drugi stoje pored bandere,a familija ih se stidi.
plavuse.191 ddrasko,
Q : Kako se zove dijete plavuse i brazilca? A : Retardo!!!
plavuse.192 vule.,
Zasto plavuse sahranjuju u trougao ? Jer nemogu da skupe noge ! :))
plavuse.193 mvdj,
Sta je to gola plavusa????? Plavusa u radnom odelu!! HAHA!!
plavuse.194 qpele,
Q:Sta radi plavusa naslonjena na zid katolicke crkve? A: slusa BAD RELIGION
plavuse.195 goxi,
- Sta plavusa radi kad ustane ujutru?? - Ide kuci. :)))))
plavuse.196 goxi,
- Sta plavusa kaze kad pere neoge??? - Napokon ste zajedno!
plavuse.197 goxi,
- Koja je razlika izmedju case i plavuse ?? - Casa ima dno.
plavuse.198 msp.,
g> - Sta plavusa kaze kad pere neoge??? g> g> - Napokon ste zajedno! Rekao bih da je to prepravljen vic o Slovenkama, mada ne znam šta znači reč "neoge". Elem, Slovenka kaže: Lepe moje spet sta skupaj.
plavuse.199 goxi,
>> sta znaci rec "neoge". Elem, Slovenka kaze: Lepe moje spet sta neoge=noge izvinjavam se!
plavuse.202 ancha,
Šta se dobije kad se pomeša plavuša i šećer? MENTOL BOMBONA
plavuse.203 sigmund,
Zašto je plavuša pekla pile dva i po' dana? Na uputstvu je pisalo da se peče 2 sata po kilogramu (plavuša ima 60 kg).
plavuse.204 sigmund,
Koja je razlika između plavuše i saobraćajnog znaka? Neki saobraćajni znaci kažu STOP.
plavuse.205 sigmund,
Koja je razlika između plavuše i poljskog WC-a? U poljski WC mogu odjednom da stanu samo dva čoveka.
plavuse.206 sigmund,
Šta imaju zajedničko vanzemaljci i pametne plavuše? Čuo si da se priča o njima, ali ih nikad nisi video.
plavuse.207 sigmund,
Šta vidiš kad plavušu pogledaš duboko u oči? Potiljak.
plavuse.208 sigmund,
Koja je sličnost između rerne i plavuše? I rernu i plavušu moraš da zagreješ pre nego što staviš meso.
plavuse.209 sigmund,
Kako možeš da zbuniš plavušu? Ne možeš. One se tako rađaju.
plavuse.210 sigmund,
Kako možeš da zaključiš da plavuša ima vibrator? Po polomljenim zubima. P.S. Kad će glasanje za vic meseca? Ističe mi pretplata pa eto...
plavuse.211 dr.grba,
>> Zašto je plavuša pekla pile dva i po' dana? >> >> Na uputstvu je pisalo da se peče 2 sata po kilogramu (plavuša ima 60 kg). Ex, šta bih dao da i moj dan traje toliko (:
plavuse.212 sigmund,
║ >> Zašto je plavuša pekla pile dva i po' dana? ║ >> ║ >> Na uputstvu je pisalo da se peče 2 sata po kilogramu (plavuša ima 60 ║ kg). ║ Ex, šta bih dao da i moj dan traje toliko (: ╚═══════════════════════════════════════ Ooo! Pa ovde ima i matematičara... ;) Ispravka: Zašto je pekla pile PET dana... P.S. Sad je vic duplo smešniji :))
plavuse.213 draskovs,
Na grobu plavuse pise prvi put legla sama. Bez uvrede.
plavuse.214 mala,
Ok, a sta pise na grobu device? VRACENA NEOTVORENA.
plavuse.215 mileusna,
>> - Koja je razlika izmedju case i plavuse ?? Verovatno je bio, ali mora da se ponovi. Q: Koja je razlika između plavuše i fiće? A: U fiću ne može da stane menjač od FAP-a. :)
plavuse.216 dusan,
Zasto plavusa oblaci kapu i sal kad seda za kompjuter? Otvara Windows.
plavuse.217 miskop,
Kako je plavuša slomila nogu dok je skupljala lišće ? Pa pala je sa drveta.
plavuse.218 miskop,
Plavuša u poljoprivrednoj apoteci: Plavuša: "Molim vas, dajte mi seme za ptice." Prodavac: "A koliko ptica imate?" Plavuša: "Nijednu, ali hoću da zasadim nekoliko."
plavuse.219 miskop,
Q: Šta je za plavušu SAFE SEX? A: Kada je povučena ručna kočnica.
plavuse.220 dalex,
Došla plavuša u piceriju i pita konobara: "Jel' tačno da vi raznosite pice?" Konobar: "Jeste!" Plavuša: "RAZNESITE I MOJU!!!!" :)
plavuse.221 mikson,
Zasto plavusa stavlja majonez na prst? Zato sto na kesici pise dijamant.
plavuse.222 buva,
evo jedan.. mozhda bio ,a mozhda ne shta dobijemo kad plavushu okrenemo naopachke ?! crnku kojoj smrdi iz usta ! :)))
plavuse.223 allmighty,
Zasto plavuse izbegavaju da odu na skijanje? Plase se da ih ne ujede ski-pas.
plavuse.224 allmighty,
Zove plavusa aerodrom da pita koliko traje let od Beograda do Njujorka. P:Hocete mi reci koliko traje let od Beograda do Njujorka S:..samo trenutak P:Hvala.
plavuse.225 hercog,
Koja je razlika između rukavice i plavuše? U rukavicu staje samo šaka. Sale
plavuse.226 jujo,
Neko zvoni na plavusina vrata.... Plavusa dolazi do vrata i pita: P: Ko je? X: Raznosac pica P: Udji i raznesi me!!!
plavuse.227 lboki,
Stopirala plavusa na auto - putu... stane joj tip i kaze:ok, povescu te ali moras da mi p**usis i otpevas jednu narodnu pesmu.Na to ce plavusa, sva uvredjena: Ja da ti pevam narodnu pesmu?!!
plavuse.228 dorian,
KOJA JE RAZLIKA IZMEDJU PLAVUSE I KOMARCA ? Kada lupis komarca po glavi on prestane da sisa......
plavuse.229 undertaker.,
Razgovaraju dve plave klinke od po 7-8 godina: P1:"Vidi nasla sam pilule za kontracepciju na radijatoru!" Druga mala plava je bledo pogleda: P2:"A..sta je to radijator?"
plavuse.234 gligo,
Sede dve plavuse u bioskopu, i usred predstave i mraka prva se ustreperi i uzviknu: -Joj, cini mi se da me neko je*e! A druga ce na to: -Nadam se da ce i mene, i ja sam platila kartu!
plavuse.235 gligo,
Sta plavusa radi naslonjena na svinjac? - Slusa ROCK.
plavuse.236 mare,
Kada je plavusha prvi put rekla ne ? Na referendumu. ;)
plavuse.237 corgan,
Sta radi plavusa naslonjena na dzamiju? Slusa BAD RELIGION.
plavuse.238 milosh.zorica,
Šta plavuša radi naslonjena na zid gvožđare? Sluša METALLICA-u.;))) Poz, Miloš!
plavuse.239 alexandra,
Kako plavusa ubija ribu? Udavi je.
plavuse.240 alexandra,
Kako mozete plavusi ukrasti mesto do prozora u avionu koji leti za London? Kazete joj da su mesta koje idu u London ona u srednjem redu.
plavuse.241 alexandra,
Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? She heard that the drinks were on the house.
plavuse.242 alexandra,
Why do blondes wear panties? To keep their ankles warm.
plavuse.243 alexandra,
Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
plavuse.244 pperica,
Mozda je bio... Zasto je bog stvorio plavuse? -zato sto ovce nisu umele da donesu pivo! Zasto je stvorio crnke? -zato sto ni plavuse nisu umele!
plavuse.245 krsta,
Zashto plavusha stavlja majonez na vrat? Zato shto na kesici pishe DIJAMANT! KRLE
plavuse.246 dragosh,
> Zashto plavusha stavlja majonez na vrat? Bolje reci OKO vrata! pzrdv
plavuse.247 miskop,
Zašto plavuša ne vodi sex preko telefona? - Da ne dobije triper na uvetu.
plavuse.248 miskop,
Šta plavuša radi u svinjcu ? ? - Sluša "ROCK" (i čisti svinjac ;)
plavuse.249 miskop,
Šta plavuša kaže kad joj duneš u uvo? - Hvala na ideji!
plavuse.250 miskop,
Šta plavuša radi u lokvi krvi ispod "Beograđanke"? - Proverava da li ALWAYS ulošci imaju krilca.
plavuse.251 miskop,
Koja je razlika izmedju plavuse i WINDOWS-a? - NEMA JE! ---> WYSIWYG!
plavuse.252 miskop,
Sede dve plavuse u bioskopu. Usred filma i mraka prva se ustreperi i uzviknu: - Joj, cini mi se da me neko tuca! A druga ce na to: - Nadam se da ce i mene, i ja sam platila kartu!
plavuse.253 miskop,
Koja je razlika između plavuše i kocke za supu? - Nikakva... Obe su gotove za četiri osobe za pet minuta.
plavuse.254 miskop,
Vozila se plavuša u automobilu i na radiju sluša viceve o plavušama. Bilo joj je dosta svega - "pa ko veruje u to da su plavuše glupe", reče ona. I tako ona vozi, kad spazi _na livadi_ jednu plavušu kako _vesla u čamcu_. Zaustavi se ona i povika: "GUSKO JEDNA, zbog tebe i takvih kao što si ti i postoje ti bezve- zni vicevi. Da znam da plivam došla bih do tebe i razbucala te".
plavuse.255 miskop,
Koja je sličnost između plavuše i mcdonald's-a?? - Milioni usluženih!
plavuse.256 miskop,
Išla plavuša avionom u New York. Imala je kartu za drugi razred, ali je sela u prvi. Dođe stjuardesa i kaže joj da se mora prebaciti iz prvog razreda u drugi. - "Ne, meni je ovde dobro". Dođe kopilot i ponovi joj isto. - "Ne, ne, meni se ovde sviđa." Dođe kapetan i nešto joj šapne na uvo. Plavuša se digne, i kaže: - "Pa što mi to niste odmah rekli" i ode u drugi razred. Pitaju kapetana: - "Šta ste joj rekli?" - "Da prvi razred ne ide za New York."
plavuse.257 miskop,
Q: Zašto plavuša ima retke stidne dlake ? A: Na autoputu trava ne raste !
plavuse.258 miskop,
Zašto plavuša gura mrtvog kanarinca u CD-player? Zato što ptice umiru pevajući.
plavuse.259 miskop,
- Zašto plavuša poliva dete vrućom vodom? - Pravi čaj od majčine dušice.
plavuse.260 miskop,
Zašto plavuša nosi crne gaćice? Žali za nevinošću.
plavuse.261 miskop,
Šta je plavuša između dve crnke? - UMNA BLOKADA -
plavuse.262 miskop,
Kako se zove plavuša sa pola mozga? - Nadarena.
plavuse.263 miskop,
Kako plavuša abortira? - Popne se na krov i ubije rodu.
plavuse.264 miskop,
Zašto plavuša hoda na prstima kada uđe u apoteku? Da ne probudi pilule za spavanje!
plavuse.265 miskop,
Šetale tri plavuše i naiđu na neki trag. Kaže prva "to je trag od zeca" Kaze druga "to je trag od medveda" Treća nije stigla ništa da kaže jer je pregazio voz.
plavuse.266 miskop,
Od čega plavuša nikako ne može da umre? - Od moždanog udara.
plavuse.267 miskop,
Šta radi plavuša u BMW-u? - Dodatna oprema.
plavuse.268 aladine,
Jel bio neki pozitivan vic o plavusama? Koja je razlika izmedju Srbije i plavuse? Pa zar neznate koje vise puta j*b*n.
plavuse.270 krsta,
Izlazi plavusha iz WCa i srece jednog mushkarca i pita ga: - Jel mozes da mi usitnish ovih 200 DM po 2 od 100 DM On uzme novchanicu i pogleda: - Pa ovo je falsifikat ! - Ijaaaao, pa ja sam silovana !!!! KRLE
plavuse.272 miskop,
- Zašto plavuša nosi tampon kada skače iz aviona? Da joj pi*da ne zviždi.
plavuse.273 miskop,
Zašto plavuša oko noge ima sat? - Da ide u korak s vremenom.
plavuse.274 miskop,
Šta radi plavuša kada čvrsto drži ruke preko ušiju? - Pokušava da zadrži misao.
plavuse.275 miskop,
Kako skinuti jednoruku plavušu s drveta? - Treba joj samo mahnuti.
plavuse.276 miskop,
Šta uraditi da bi plavušine oči "blistale"? - Treba joj uperiti džepnu lampu u uši.
plavuse.277 miskop,
Zašto se vide otisci stopala na ekranu monitora? - Plavuša pokušavala da uđe na Internet.
plavuse.278 miskop,
Idu dve plavuše ulicom i nađu ogledalo. Prva ga uzme i kaže: Ijuu, gle moja slika! Onda ga uzme druga i kaže: Uuuu kako si ružna!
plavuse.279 milosh.zorica,
> Izlazi plavusha iz WCa i srece jednog mushkarca i pita ga: > - Jel mozes da mi usitnish ovih 200 DM po 2 od 100 DM > On uzme novchanicu i pogleda: > - Pa ovo je falsifikat ! > - Ijaaaao, pa ja sam silovana !!!! > KRLE Ovo, otkad kopiraš viceve iz BBShow-a, i nisu tolko loši. Samo tako nastavi. P.S. Sorry zbog šuma, ali, morao sam momka da pohvalim, popravlja se.
plavuse.280 krsta,
Imala jedna plavusa saobracajni udes na auto-putu i zali se svom advokatu. Pricha ona njemu kako je sve to bilo i kako je proshla: Kaze advokat: - Da bi ste dokazali da ste nevini i da ovaj udes nije vasha krivica morate da dokazete 3 stvari, a to su: 1. Da je onaj biciklista shto vas je pretekao ishao brze od 140 km/h 2. Da je ta crna machka koju ste opisali bila toliko velika da vam je zaklanjala vidik 3. I da ono drvo u koje ste udarili nije davalo levi zmigavac! - Ali ja sam nevina dece mi moje! KRLE
plavuse.281 miskop,
Zašto plavuša puzi u prodavnici ?? - Traži niže cene...
plavuse.282 jujo,
Sta dobijete kad ukrstite plavusu i slona? Tonu pi*ke za saku kikirikija!!! yooyo:
plavuse.283 gligo,
Voze se dve plavuse liftom. Lift se zaglavi i jedna od njih se uspanici i pocinje da vice: - Upomoc! Upomoc! Druga je prekine i kaze: -Cekaj, vikacemo zajedno. -Zajedno, zajedno!
plavuse.284 pifat,
Dođe plavuša u sex shop i pita prodavačicu: - Kakve pimpeke imate? - Evo ovaj za 100 kuna. - Može. A kol'ko vam je onaj tamo veliki? - 200 kuna. - Može i njega. A ovaj ogromni crni? - 400 kuna. - Uzet ću i njega. Nešto kasnije dođe šef i upita prodavačicu kakav je promet imala. - Odličan, prodala sam obični pimpek za 100 kuna, velikoga za 200 kuna i vašu termos bocu za 400 kuna.
plavuse.285 nikolaj,
Evo jedan bajati al sezonski aktuelan. Zasto plavusa ne ide na skijanje na Kop. Plasi se da je ne ujede ski pas.
plavuse.286 rotten,
Q: How do blonde braincells die ? A: Alone. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer. Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP A BLONDE BUSY ALL DAY? A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. Q: HOW DID THE BLONDE DIE ICE FISHING? A: She was run over by the zambonis machine. Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant? A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she's pregnant. Q: What will she ask you? A: "Is it mine?" Q: How do you get a blonde off of your knees? A: Come. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor? A: By the ears. Q: How do you know a blond likes you? A: She screws you two nights in a row. Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity? A: Her crayons are still sticky. Q: How does a blonde moonwalk? A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor! Q: WHY IS A BLONDE LIKE AUSTRALIA? A: They're both down under, and no one cares. Q: WHY DOES A BLONDE LIKE THE NUMBER 77? A: She likes to be 8 (ate) more. Q: WHY DON`T BLONDES LIKE ANAL SEX? A: They don`t like their brains being screwed with. Q: WHY CAN`T BLONDES WATER-SKI? A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down. Q: WHY ARE BLONDES LIKE PIANOS? A: When they aren't upright, they're grand. Q: WHY ARE BLONDES SO EASY TO GET INTO BED? A: Who cares? Q: Why can't blondes count to 70? A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful. Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunt'n peckers. Q: How is a blonde like peanut-butter? A: They spread for the bread. Q: What do you call a blonde on a waterbed? A: Cherry Float Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A BLONDE THROWS A PIN AT YOU? A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE GOLFER WITH AN IQ OF 125? A: a foursome. Q: WHAT DO YOU GIVE THE BLONDE WHO HAS EVERYTHING? A: Penicillin. Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law? A: An air bag. Q: What nickname is most used by blondes in order to boost their popularity? A: B.J. Q: Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped? A: Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open. Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs? A: To avoid the draft. Q: Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room? A: They have to pull their own pants down. Q: Why do blondes wear panties? A: To keep their ankles warm. Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee? A: It's too hard to re-train them. Q: What do blondes do for foreplay? A: Remove their underwear. Q: What do blonde virgins eat? A: Baby food. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!" Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!" Q: What's the mating call of the brunette? A1: "All the blondes have gone home!" A2: Has that blonde gone yet? A3: When is that blond bitch going to leave!? Q: What's the mating call of the redhead? A: "Next!" Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday. Q: WHAT IS BLONDE AND GREEN AND JUMPS FROM BED TO BED? A: A prostitoad. Q: WHAT IS 68 TO A BLONDE? A: Where she goes down on you and you owe her one. Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought. Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'. Q: WHY DID THE BLONDE BAKE A CHICKEN FOR 3 AND A HALF DAYS? A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125. Q: WHY DID THE BLONDE PUT HER FINGER OVER THE NAIL WHEN SHE WAS HAMMERING? A: The noise gave her a headache. Q: WHY DID THE BLONDE HAVE BLISTERS ON HER LIPS? A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs. Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? A: She heard that the drinks were on the house. Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? A: They don't know the route. Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ELVIS AND SMART BLONDES? A: Elvis has been sighted. Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BLONDES AND TRAFFIC SIGNS? A: Some traffic signs say stop. Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A LIGHTBULB? A: The lightbulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on. Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A BITCH? A: A blonde will fuck anyone, a bitch will fuck anyone but you. Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A SHOPPING CART? A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own. Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CORN FARMER WITH EPILEPSY AND A BLONDE WITH DIARRHEA? A: One shucks between fits. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus? A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus. Q: What's the difference betweena blonde and a brick? A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining. Q: What is foreplay for a blonde? A: Thirty minutes of begging. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet? A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth? A1: You need a quarter to use the phone. A2: Only one person can use the phone at once. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen. Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? A "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt." Q: How does a blonde commit suicide? A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a blonde. Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses? A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave to her. Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum) Q: How does the blond turn on the light after she has had sex? A: She opens the car door. Q: How does a blonde get pregnant? A: And I thought blondes were dumb! Q: How does a blonde part their hair? A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart) A2: By doing the splits. Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle? A: Shine a torch in her ears. Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file! A2: Who cares? A3: She says, "Next". A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder. A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes. A6: I mean, who really cares? A7: The batteries have run out. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? A: Shine a flashlight in their ear. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno! Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. Q: How do blondes pierce their ears? A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs? A: Unfertilized. Q: How do you drown a blond? A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. A2: Don't tell her to swallow. A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping? A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard. Q: How does a blonde high-5? A: She smacks herself in the forehead. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots? A: Flattered. Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS? A: A know-it-all bitch. Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde? A: One's a phony buck. Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician? A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts. Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? A: One that never misses a period. Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is? A: An Italian suppository. Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet. Q: WHAT CAN SAVE A DYING BLONDE? A: Hair transplants. Q: WHAT DID THE BLOND SAY WHEN SHE WOKE UP UNDER THE COW? A: What are you guys still doing here? Q: WHAT ARE THE WORST SIX YEARS IN A BLONDE'S LIFE? A: Third Grade. Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES? A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans. Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV. Q: What did the blonde do when she heard the British were coming? A: She stopped sucking. Q: What did the blonde say when she was showed her newborn baby in the delivery room? A: I'm not going to suck anything *that* small. Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any. Q: What does a blond say during a porno? A: There I am!! Q: Why doesn't a blondes guts fall out of her twat when she stands? A: Because the vaccum in her head keeps them in place. Q: What's the difference between having sex with a blonde and eating Jell-o? A: Jell-o wiggles when you eat it. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer? A1: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do. A2: Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't stop until it gets blood. Q: Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses? A: She was having sunny periods. Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant? A: Her feet! Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose? A: When she farts, her knees bag. Q: What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist? A: Marriage. Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan? A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat. Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period. Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ? A: Tell them a joke on Friday night ! Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde? A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on. Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They're born that way. Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They're too hard to peel. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's. Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID? A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet. Q: Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress? A: To keep her ankles warm. Q: How can you tell a blonde had a bad day? A: Her tampon is behind her ear and she doesn't know what she did with her cigarette. Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? A: Way to go team! Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator? A: By the chipped tooth. Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.) Q: How do you keep a blonde busy? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? A: To keep from bruising their ears. Q: Why do blondes have vaginas? A: So guys will talk to them at parties. Q: Why does the blonde stand in front of a window during a thunder storm? A: She loves taking pictures (flashes, got it?). Q: What do you call a blonde with a runny nose? A: Full. Q: What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?" A: "No, I just lie there." Q: What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning? A: "Thanks, guys..." Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of the pool? A: Air pockets. Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde? A: "Space. The final frontier......" Q: How many blondes does it take to screw the entire Bengals team? A: Just One... Boomer Esiason. Q: What's brown and red and black and blue? A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes. Q: What do you call a brunette and three blondes on a corner? A: You don't, you see if you've got 3 condoms. Q: How does the blonde car pool work? A: They all meet at work at 7:45. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up! Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock. Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe. Q: Why do blonde's find it difficult to marry? A: Because you don't have to marry them to have sex with them! Q: Did you hear about the blonde that said she would do anything for a fur coat? A: Well, now she can't button it.(prego) Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had an apendix operation? A: Well, now she is making money on the side. Q: Did you hear about the scared blonde nurse down by the water? A: She won't go DOWN ON THE DOC. Q: Did you hear about the blond that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds? A: She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord. Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT ALMOST CAUSED A WRECK? A: The spare tire in her trunk blew out. Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE DOCTOR? A: She shaved her patients, then took off their clothes. Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT ATE MOUNTAIN OYSTERS? A: She was dragged 200 yards. Q: DID YOU HEAR BOUT THE BLONDE WHO COULN'T WAIT TO SEE "20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA"? A: She said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams. Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE WHO STOOD IN FRONT OF A MIRROR WITH HER EYES CLOSED? A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep. Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL FOR BLONDES? A: They take off their makeup. Q: Why won't a blonde drink beer at the beach? A: She's afraid to get sand in her Busch. Q: Why do blondes wear tight skirts? A: To keep their legs together. Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer? A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold. Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs? A: She fell out of the tree. Q: HOW MANY BLONDES DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB? A: Blondes screw in back seats, not in lightbulbs, silly. Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek? A: One. Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ? A: She didn't know what ONE came first... Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex? A1: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers. A2: Their mothers told them not with their mouths full. Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone? A: Divorced. Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole? A: Divorced. Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit? A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer! Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp? A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way. Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde? A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff. Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree. Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her. Q: How did the blonde burn her nose? A: Bobbing for french fries. Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress? A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil. Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out on the screen. Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? A: There's writing on the white-out. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once. Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer? A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9.... Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator? A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating? A: By the buckle print on her forehead. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend? A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead! Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries? A: She has a checkbook. Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde? A: There is a stamp on it. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal? A: The Panama Canal is a busy ditch. Q: What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a blonde track team? A: The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts. Q: What is the difference between a crazy fighting hockey player and a blonde? A: He is fussy by nature and would go to any length to get a puck. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline. Q: What's the diffehence between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A: The prostitute says "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says "Are you done already?" The blonde says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige." Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde? A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush? A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shower? A: A shower has to be turned on to get wet. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job? A: Your job still sucks after 6 months. dQ: What's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist. Q: What is the difference between a blond and a toilet? A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo." Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine? A: Not everybody has been in a limo. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball. A2: You can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball. A3: There is no difference. They're both round and have three holes to poke. A4: You don't eat your bowling ball Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York? A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men. Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS? A: Lipstick. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone. Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back. Q: W y should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them. Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes? A: They're doing research on black holes. Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom? A: So she can have a doggie bag for later. Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds." Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids? A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon. A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home. Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?? A: Because they can understand them. Q: Why do blondes like lightning? A: They think someone is taking their picture. Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws? A: Practice. Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead? A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it! Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks. Q: Why do blondes have more fun? A: Because they don't know any better. *A: They are easier to keep amused. Q: Why do blonde's find it difficult to marry? A: Because you don't have to marry them for sex! Q: Why do blondes have legs? A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground. A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen. A3: So they don't leave trails, like little snails. Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow? A: So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo. A2: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits. Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs? A: Because they can spell it. Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm? A: *Who cares?* Q: Why do blondes have periods? A: They deserve them Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons? A: From dating blonde men. Q: What does a blonde and a tampon have in common? A: They're both stuck up c*nts! Q: Why do blondes wear tampons? A: Because crabs like Bungie Jumping too. Q: Why do blondes drive VW's A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!! Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails? A: To cover up the valve stem. Q: Why do blonds have square boobs? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box. Q: Why do Blondes take the pill? A: So they know what day of the week it is. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ? A: Wishful Thinking. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes? A: Toes go in first. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts? A: Tits go in front. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering? A: More head room. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs? A: More leg room. Q: Why do blonds have orgasms ? A: So they know when to stop having sex ! Q: Why do blondes wear underwear? A: They make good ankle warmers. Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada) A: Because they can spell it. Q: What is 74 to a blonde? A: 69 plus G.S.T. Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? A: Because red means stop. Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick? A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole." Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles. Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables! Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees. Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists? A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter. Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A1: They can't remember the number. A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1". Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas? A: They can't find the zipper. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show! Q: Why don't blonds breast feed? A: Becaune they always burn their niples. Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth. Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello? A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: Because they can't get their head in the jar. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A1: Introduces themself. A2: Walks home. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door. Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond? A: Bucket seats. Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex? A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate? Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A1: "What's a lightbulb?" A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!" Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!" Q: What is the difference between a bsond and a 747? A: Not everyone has been in a 747 Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes? A: A brunette with bad breath. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street Ihen they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde. A2: None of them, two don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper. Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up! Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche? A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend. Q: What's the difference between a blond and an ice cream cone? A: Ice cream cones don't lick back. Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde? A: Butter is difficult to spread. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"? A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic". Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been spotted. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? A: "Nice tits!" Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? A: Reservations. Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common? A: Put either of 'em in a car and their fucked. Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning? A: Pack their lunch and send them to work. Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth? A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine? Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? A: They both get easier to pick-up with age. Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common? A1: They both have a black box. A2: Both have a cockpit. Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change. Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in his/her ear? A: "Thanks for the refill!" Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair? A: They pull up their pants. Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair? A: Last years hide and go seek winner. Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar. Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool? A: Air bubbles. Q: What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections? A: A whine and cheese party! Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a street corner? A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks! Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
plavuse.287 ventura,
Vicevi o pandurima i plavusama ********************** * Vicevi o pandurima * ********************** 1. Kako pandur sere ? .............. Izadji necu ti nista ! 2. Koja je razlika izmedju pandura i voza ? ..... Voz ima dva razreda. 3. Zasto pandur kad gleda komediju u pozoristu, sedi u zadnjem redu ? Cuo je da se najsladje smeje, ko se zadnji smeje. 4. Zasto se pandur nikada ne kupa ? ..... Ceka da se na bojleru upali zeleno svetlo ! 5. Kako pandur otvara konzervu ? ....... Otvori u ime zakona ! 6. Kako pandur peca ? ........... Uhvati jednu ribu i bije je dok ne prizna gde su ostale. 7. Zasto pandur trci oko bandere ? .......... Cita "ROTO REKLAMU !". 8. Zasto pandur stoji pored bandere ? ........ Ceka da dune vetar. 9. Kako policajac farba vodu u plavo ? .......... Bije je pendrekom dok ne poplavi. 10. Zasto pandur kad se probudi ide pogrbljeno ? .......... Obukao je naopako "BODY GARD" majicu. 11. Stoje pandur i plavusa pored jezera i na sred jezera pliva patka. Odjednom plavusa uzvikne: "Vidi roda !". "Nije roda nego pelikan, od njega se prave gumice !" - kaze pandur. 12. Trci klinac za pandurom i vice: "Ciko, ciko je li ovo vas pendrek ?" "Ne ja sam moj izgubio !" - Odgovori policajac. 13. "Kako je bilo na polaganju" - pita prijatelj pandura pripravnika. "Nije bilo lose, samo sto su nas odvojili. Baska mi baska kerovi". 14. Zasto se cetiri pandura svadjaju u kolima ? ...... Ko ce da sedne do prozora. 15. Zasto se dva pandura svadjaju ulicom ? ...... Koji ce da ide u sredini. 16. Kako se pandur maskira kad ide na zadatak ? ....... Skine beretku da se ne prepozna. 17. Izlazi pandur iz pekare i nailazi na svog druga i kaze mu: "Ako pogodis koliko imam kifli u dzepu dacu ti obe". 18. Objasnjava nacelnik stanice svojim ljudima zadatak. "Nacicemo se ispred hotela "Balkan" tacno u 11:48 h, a za one koji imaju digitalne satove dva pendreka, obrnuta stolica i Snesko Belic". 19. Kako cetiri pandura menjaju sijalicu ? .... Jedan drzi a ostala trojica vrte sto. 20. Zasto dva pandura idu zajedno ? .... Jedan zna cirilicu a jedan latinicu. 21. Sede dva pandura u stanici,jedan sedi ispred ogledala a drugi gleda u zid."Sto mi je poznat ovaj "- rece prvi. "Pa to sam ja budalo"-odgovori drugi. 22. Zasto pandur narucuje tri kafe ? ...... Pije srednju. 23. Trci dete za pandurom i pruza mu izgubljenu kapu. E nabijem te na kurac. Odgovara pandur. 24. Takmice se CIA KGB i nasi panduri ko ce prvi da uhvati zirafu.CIA uhvati za 10 sekundi KGB za 9, a nasi uhvate za 5 sekundi slona. Alito nije zirafa zale se drugi ! Tek ce jedan od nasih: "Kazi drugovima sta si"."Ja sam zirafa samo nemoj te vise da me bijete !" odgovara slon. 25. Kako se udavio pandur ? Pojeo je zumance kinder-jajeta. 26. Kako pandur lovi zeca ? Sakrije se iza zbuna i zvizdi kao kupus. 27. Upoznaje se pandur sa ribom. Drago mi je ja se zovem Milutin. A ti? Izabela. Iza cega ? 28. Kakva je slicnost izmedju pandura i kurve ? Oboje stoje na ulici i sramote porodicu. 29. Sedi covek u restoranu i jede. I kaze: " Da sam imao ono sto jedem ne bi bio ono sto jesam." Ko je taj covek i sta on jede ? Pandur, jede mozak. 30. Zasto na panduriskim kolima na vratima pise milicija ? Da ne bi ulazili kroz gepek. 31. Na autobuskoj stanici zena sa detetom ceka autobus. Na stanici jos stoji i jedan pandur. Dete stalno place i pita kada ce da doje bas. Mama mu odgovara da cika pere autobus i kad opere doci ce. Stoje oni jos pola sata pandur se setka kad ce dete ponovo mama jel cika oprao autobus. Jeste sine samo da ga popravi i dolazi. Cekaju jos pola sata pa ce dete. Pa jel ga popravio, jeste sine jos da ga ofarba i etoga. U tome pandur baci beretku i vikne " E SAD JE NASAO DA GA FARBA !". 32. Kako pandur jebe kokosku ? Sagni se da ti pokazem. 33. Zasto panduri nose opasace ? Da bi mogao da se pridrzis dok mu pusis. 35. Idu dva pandura pored skupstine i nadju mrtvog coveka. I ajde da naprave zapisnik: " Dana 26.06.1995. u 9 h ispred ..." " Jeli kako se pise skupstina ? " - pita pandur kolegu. " Ej, nisam siguran za skupstinu, ajde da ga prebacimo ispred poste to znam kako se pise. " - odgovara drugi. 36. Zasto dva pandura idu ulicom ? Jedan zna da pise, drugi da cita. 37. Stoje na stanici pandur i dizelas. tek ce dizelas panduru: " Jel znas koja je razlika izmedju tebe i ovog voza ? " - Nemam pojma odgovori ovaj. " Voz ima dva razreda, a ti ni toliko. " Misli se pandur i kaze: " Jeli a jel znas koja je razlika izmedju tebe i ovog voza ? " - Ne znam kaze dizelas. " Ovaj voz ide - IZ - stanice a ti udesu - U - stanicu. " ********************** * Vicevi o plavusama * ********************** 1. Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i tetrisa ? .... Tetris ima pauzu. 2. Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i "TITANIKA" ? ..... Na Titaniku se znalo koliko je bilo ljudi. 3. Sta uradi plavusa kad se probudi ? ...... Obuce se i ide kuci. 4. Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i Porsea ? ...... Porse se ne pozajmlju je svima. 5. Padaju zajedno plavusa i crnka ,koja ce pre da padne ? ..... Crnka ,zato sto ce plavusa da stane da pita za put. 6. Zasto plavusa nosi crne gace ? ..... Zali za nevinoscu. 7. Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i broda ? .... Nije svaki brod kitolovac. 8. Kako smestiti cetiri plavuse na jednu stolicu ? .... Okrenes stolicu. 9. Zasto plavusa ide sitnim koracima ? ...... Da joj ne ispadnu creva. 10. Ulazi covek u prodavnicu i pita: "Ima te li tolet papir?". Plavusa mu odgovara: "Imamo beli i ruzicasti, koji zelite ?". "Svejedno koji mi vi date". "Ja bi vam preporucila da uzmete ruzicasti, manje se prlja". 11. Koja je razlika izmedju plavuse i kokoske ? ..... Kokoska sedi samo na svojim jajima. 12. Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i lopte ? .... Loptu kad sutnes ona se vise nevraca. 13. Ulovile tri plavuse zlatnu ribicu i ona im rece da ce im ispuniti tri zelje. Prva kaze: "Hocu da budem pametna", druga: "Hocu da budem pametnija od nje" i treca: "Hocu da budem naj pametnija". Ujtru kada su se probudile. Prva je postala smedja, druga crnka a treca je postala muskarac. 14. Kako nasmejati plavusu u nedelju ? Ispricaj joj vic u petak. 15. Zasto se plavusa zbuni u zenskom WC ? Zato sto mora da sama skine pantalone. 16. Zasto plavusa maze korektorom ekran monitora ? Ispravlja greske u kucanju. 17. Sta se dobije kada se plavusa ubaci u alkohol ? Liker od mentola. 18. Zasto plavusa nosi crnu kragnu na vratu ? Ima crni pojas u pusenju. 19. Sta se dobije kada se okrene plavusa naopacke ? Crnka kojoj smrdi iz usta. 20. Zasto su svi vicevi o plavusama kratki ? Da bi ih i crnke razumele. 21. Sta pise plavusi na grobu ? Prvi put legla sama. 22. Ide plavusa prugom i odjednom naidje voz. Otkud lift na stepenicama ! rece plavusa. 23. Sta plavusa misli o kompjuteru ? Ne voli ga jer ne moze da uhvati MTV. 24. Kojih su 6 godina najgori u zivotu jedne plavuse ? Treci razred. 25. Sta kaze plavusa dok gleda pornic. Vidi ja. 26. Kako da zaposlis plavusu. Napises " okreni " na obe strane papira. 27. Sta plavusa kaze kad ustane ? Hvala momci. 28. Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i WC. WC te nece pratiti posle upotrebe. 29. Sta imaju zajednicko farbana plavusa i Boing 747 ? Oboje imaju crnu kutiju. 30. Sta plavusi kaze mama kad ide na sastanak ? Ako nisi u krevetu do 12 dodji kuci. 31. Zasto je plavusa pokusala da ukrade pandurska kola ? Zato sto je na kolima videla 911 i mislila je da je to novi model porshea. 31. Kakva je razlika izmedju frizidera i plavuse ? Frizider se ne buni kada iz njega vadis meso. 32. Idu crnka i plavusa parkom. Odjednom crnka kaze "Vidi mrtva ptica." Plavusa pogleda gore i kaze: "Gde ?" 33. Kako da zaposlis plavusu ? Ubacis je u okruglu sobu i kazes joj da sedne u cosak. 34. Kako da nateras plavusu da se uda za tebe ? Kazes joj da je trudna. 35. Kako plavusa ubija ribu ? Ubaci je u vodu da se udavi. 36. Sta pokloniti plavusi koja ima sve ? PENICILIN. 37. Sta jede nevina plavusa ? Bebi hranu. 38. Zasto plavusa bulji u Djus 2 sata ? Zato sto na tetrapaku pise CONCENTRATE. 39. Zasto se plavuse ne voze liftom ? Ne znaju put. 40. Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i saobracajnog znaka ? Na nekim znacima pise STOP. 41. Kakva je razlika izmedju plavuse i telefonske govornice ? Da upotrebis telefon treba ti deset para. Telefon moze da koristi samo jedan covek odjednom. 42. Zasto je bog dao plavusama 2 % mozga vise nego konjima ? Da nebi srale po ulici za vreme parada. 43. Kako plavusa upali svetlo posle seksa ? Otvori vrata od kola. 44. Kako da znas da je plavusa dozivela orgazam ? Osoba iza tebe te potapse po ramenu. 45. Kako da plavusi zasvetle oci ? Ubacis joj upaljenu sijalicu kroz usi. 46. Koja je razlika izmedju frizidera i plavuse ? Frizider ima pregradu za jaja. 47. Zasto plavusa ima modricu na celu ? Zato sto njen decko nosi metalni kais. 48. Zasto plavusa stavlja KAPA trenerku u usta ? Zna da cita samo cirilicu. 49. Zasto plavusa stravlja KAPA trenerku na glavu ? Zato sto misli da je kapa. 50. Ko razume, svatice !!! BLONDE MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY BACTERIA - Back door of cafeteria CAT SCAN - Searching for kitty FIBULA - A small lie MORBID - Higher offer SEIZURE - Roman emperor TIBIA - Contry in North Africa TUMOUR - An extra pair 51. Sta plavusa kaze kad pere noge ? Najzad zajedno. 52. Sta 17 plavusa ceka ispred diskoteke ? Cekaju 18 - stu zato sto je zabranjen ulaz ispod 18. 53. Zasto plavusa stavlja majonez oko vrata ? Zato sto pise dijamant na njemu.
plavuse.288 krsta,
Zashto je plavusha umrla nakon shto je popila mleko? Zato shto je krava sela na njenu glavu! KRLE
plavuse.289 qpele,
Zasto plavusa skuplja lokatore? Cula je da nam jebu kevu.
plavuse.290 alien,
Q: Zašto plavuša skuplja radio lokatore? A: Čula je da tomahavk jebe pa rastura!
plavuse.291 ttesla,
Zasto se plavusa ofarbala u crno .... ? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. :>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Pozdrav za brata krstu .......
plavuse.292 mulan,
Pitenje: Zasto plavusa stavlja majonez oko vrata? Odgovor: Pise "Dijamant"
plavuse.293 mulan,
Pitanje: Zasto plavusa igra oko semafor? Odgovor: Misli da je u diskoteci.
plavuse.294 scar,
> Pitanje: Zasto plavusa igra oko semafor? izvini mislim, ali nisam mogo a da ne uochim!!!! a odaklen si ti??? ;>>>
plavuse.295 balkan.boy,
> > Pitanje: Zasto plavusa igra oko semafor? > > izvini mislim, ali nisam mogo a da ne uochim!!!! ^^^^ > a odaklen si ti??? ^^^^^^^ A odakle si ti? > ;>>> Uopšte nije smešno. :))
plavuse.296 du.lait,
ime MULAN verovatno je bio odusevlen istoimenim animiranim filmom
plavuse.297 sfilip,
>ime MULAN >verovatno je bio odusevlen istoimenim animiranim filmom sestra svakoga od nas bila je odushevljena istoimenim animiranim filmom, hoces da kazes da je to neshto loshe? ;)
plavuse.298 du.lait,
nisam rekao da je to nesto LOSHE!!! Du.Lait
plavuse.299 bastion,
*> ime MULAN Cini mi se da se pre ovaj user zvao KRSTA, cak i ako nije, inteligencija je ista.
plavuse.300 philippus,
> res r krsta ───────────── krsta, Srdan Krstov, Vrsac Clan od 17.06.1995, poslednji poziv Uto 26.10.99 11:03 ˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙ TOP SECRET !!! ˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙ > res r krsta ───────────── krsta, Srdan Krstov, Vrsac Clan od 17.06.1995, poslednji poziv Uto 26.10.99 11:03 ˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙ TOP SECRET !!! ˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙ Ne da se provaliti... Filke
plavuse.301 sani.,
Ne , mislim Mulan je basnoslovno neoptereceno ime za user. TJ obratno.
plavuse.302 whiplash,
Pitaju nesto plavusu i ona zestoko lupi na to pitanje. Ovi joj kazu: Toliko si glupa, kao da imas vakum u glavi. A ona njima: Bolje da imam vakum nego da nemam nista.
plavuse.303 the.edge,
Vicevi su tragicno glupi. AcCeSS DeNiED
plavuse.304 sani.,
}} Vicevi su tragicno glupi. I ti si , pa sta..
plavuse.305 sfilip,
>}} Vicevi su tragicno glupi. > > I ti si , pa sta.. staaaaaaaatiiiiiiijeeeeeeereeeeeeeeeeeeeeekooooooooooooooooooo ;) u stvari nije bedak shta ti je rekao nego Ko ti je rekao ;)
plavuse.306 sani.,
}} staaaaaaaatiiiiiiijeeeeeeereeeeeeeeeeeeeeekooooooooooooooooooo ;) Na mom si se peko.
plavuse.307 sfilip,
>}} staaaaaaaatiiiiiiijeeeeeeereeeeeeeeeeeeeeekooooooooooooooooooo ;) > > Na mom si se peko. crvu? p.s. Moja ruka brishe i nichija vishe ;)