esnafski.258milosh.zorica,
Otišla jedna bogata žena u radnju za prodaju pasa. I, tražila psa, koji će
joj čuvati imovinu i slično. Prodavac ponudi jednog, i kaže:"Samo mu kažete
KUNG FU i predmet, koji želite da rasturi i on urai.". Ženna kaže "KUNG FU,
stolica", pas razjebe stolicu skroz. Ode ona happy kući i pokaže mužu.
Zatim mu kaže da pas, kad mu kaže naredbu "KUG Fu, i predmet", on ga odma uni-
šti. A, muž će na to "Kung Fu, moj qrac"
esnafski.259rdejan,
===============================
32.1651 MALI.OGLASI.2:razno
dr.iivan, 14.07.98. 23:15, 85 chr
---------------------------------------------------------
Kupuje se kuca na ostrvu Ciovu, u blizini Trogira.
Ponude na mail.
-----------------------------------------------32.1651---
esnafski.260pifat,
Evolucija poruke "Hello world" kroz odrastanje jednog programera :))
> Nerd Stuff...
>
> ===================
> High School/Jr.High
> ===================
>
> 10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
> 20 END
>
> =====================
> First year in College
> =====================
>
> program Hello(input, output)
> begin
> writeln('Hello World');
> end.
>
> ======================
> Senior year in College
> ======================
>
> (defun hello
> (print
> (cons 'Hello (list 'World))))
>
> ================
> New professional
> ================
>
> #include <stdio.h>
> void main(void)
> {
> char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
> int i;
>
> for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
> printf("%s", message[i]);
> printf("\n");
> }
>
> ====================
> Seasoned professional
> =====================
>
> #include <iostream.h>
> #include <string.h>
>
> class string
> {
> private:
> int size;
> char *ptr;
>
> public:
> string() : size(0), ptr(new char('\0')) {}
>
> string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
> {
> ptr = new char[size + 1];
> strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
> }
>
> ~string()
> {
> delete [] ptr;
> }
>
> friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);
> string &operator=(const char *);
> };
>
> ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
> {
> return(stream << s.ptr);
> }
>
> string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)
> {
> if (this != &chrs)
> {
> delete [] ptr;
> size = strlen(chrs);
> ptr = new char[size + 1];
> strcpy(ptr, chrs);
> }
> return(*this);
> }
>
> int main()
> {
> string str;
>
> str = "Hello World";
> cout << str << endl;
>
> return(0);
> }
>
> =================
> Master Programmer
> =================
>
> [
> uuid(2573F8F4-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
> ]
> library LHello
> {
> // bring in the master library
> importlib("actimp.tlb");
> importlib("actexp.tlb");
>
> // bring in my interfaces
> #include "pshlo.idl"
>
> [
> uuid(2573F8F5-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
> ]
> cotype THello
> {
> interface IHello;
> interface IPersistFile;
> };
> };
>
> [
> exe,
> uuid(2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
> ]
> module CHelloLib
> {
>
> // some code related header files
> importheader(<windows.h>);
> importheader(<ole2.h>);
> importheader(<except.hxx>);
> importheader("pshlo.h");
> importheader("shlo.hxx");
> importheader("mycls.hxx");
>
> // needed typelibs
> importlib("actimp.tlb");
> importlib("actexp.tlb");
> importlib("thlo.tlb");
>
> [
> uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820),
> aggregatable
> ]
> coclass CHello
> {
> cotype THello;
> };
> };
>
> #include "ipfix.hxx"
> extern HANDLE hEvent;
> class CHello : public CHelloBase
> {
> public:
> IPFIX(CLSID_CHello);
>
> CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);
> ~CHello();
>
> HRESULT __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString);
>
> private:
> static int cObjRef;
> };
>
> #include <windows.h>
> #include <ole2.h>
> #include <stdio.h>
> #include <stdlib.h>
> #include "thlo.h"
> #include "pshlo.h"
> #include "shlo.hxx"
> #include "mycls.hxx"
>
> int CHello:cObjRef = 0;
>
> CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk)
> {
> cObjRef++;
> return;
> }
>
> HRESULT __stdcall CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString)
> {
> printf("%ws\n", pwszString);
> return(ResultFromScode(S_OK));
> }
>
>
> CHello::~CHello(void)
> {
>
> // when the object count goes to zero, stop the server
> cObjRef--;
> if( cObjRef == 0 )
> PulseEvent(hEvent);
>
> return;
> }
>
> #include <windows.h>
> #include <ole2.h>
> #include "pshlo.h"
> #include "shlo.hxx"
> #include "mycls.hxx"
>
> HANDLE hEvent;
>
> int _cdecl main(
> int argc,
> char * argv[]
> ) {
> ULONG ulRef;
> DWORD dwRegistration;
> CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF();
>
> hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL);
>
> // Initialize the OLE libraries
> CoInitiali, NULL);
>
> // Initialize the OLE libraries
> CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);
>
> CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF, CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER,
> REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration);
>
> // wait on an event to stop
> WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE);
>
> // revoke and release the class object
> CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration);
> ulRef = pCF->Release();
>
> // Tell OLE we are going away.
> CoUninitialize();
>
> return(0); }
>
> extern CLSID CLSID_CHello;
> extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib;
>
> CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /* 2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
> 0x2573F891,
> 0xCFEE,
> 0x101A,
> { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
> };
>
> UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /* 2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
>
> 0x2573F890,
> 0xCFEE,
> 0x101A,
> { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
> };
>
> #include <windows.h>
> #include <ole2.h>
> #include <stdlib.h>
> #include <string.h>
> #include <stdio.h>
> #include "pshlo.h"
> #include "shlo.hxx"
> #include "clsid.h"
>
> int _cdecl main(
> int argc,
> char * argv[]
> ) {
> HRESULT hRslt;
> IHello *pHello;
> ULONG ulCnt;
> IMoniker * pmk;
> WCHAR wcsT[_MAX_PATH];
> WCHAR wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH];
>
> // get object path
> wcsPath[0] = '\0';
> wcsT[0] = '\0';
> if( argc > 1) {
> mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1);
> wcsupr(wcsPath);
> }
> else {
> fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified\n");
> return(1);
> }
>
> // get print string
> if(argc > 2)
> mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1);
> else
> wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World");
>
> printf("Linking to object %ws\n", wcsPath);
> printf("Text String %ws\n", wcsT);
>
> // Initialize the OLE libraries
> hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);
>
> if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {
>
> hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk);
> if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt))
> hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello);
>
> if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {
>
> // print a string out
> pHello->PrintSz(wcsT);
>
> Sleep(2000);
> ulCnt = pHello->Release();
> }
> else
> printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt);
>
> // Tell OLE we are going away.
> CoUninitialize();
> }
>
> return(0);
> }
>
> =================
> Apprentice Hacker
> =================
>
> #!/usr/local/bin/perl
> $msg="Hello, world.\n";
> if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
> while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
> $outfilename = $arg;
> open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
> print (FILE $msg);
> close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
> }
> } else {
> print ($msg);
> }
> 1;
>
> ==================
> Experienced Hacker
> ==================
>
> #include <stdio.h>
> #define S "Hello, World\n"
> main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}
>
> ===============
> Seasoned Hacker
> ===============
>
> % cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
> % a.out
>
> ===========
> Guru Hacker
> ===========
>
> % cat
> Hello, world.
> ^D
>
> =====================
> AXE System programmer
> =====================
>
> LL0:
> .seg "data"
> .seg "text"
> .proc 04
> .global _main
> _main:
> !#PROLOGUE# 0
> sethi %hi(LF26),%g1
> add %g1,%lo(LF26),%g1
> save %sp,%g1,%sp
> !#PROLOGUE# 1
> .seg "data1"
> L30:
> .ascii "Hello, World\012\0"
> .seg "text"
> .seg "data1"
> L32:
> .ascii "Hello, World\012\0"
> .seg "text"
> set L32,%o0
> call _strlen,1
> nop
> mov %o0,%i5
> set L30,%o0
> call _printf,1
> nop
> cmp %o0,%i5
> bne L2000000
> nop
> mov 0,%o0
> b L2000001
> nop
> L2000000:
> mov 0x1,%o0
> L2000001:
> call _exit,1
> nop
> LE26:
> ret
> restore
> LF26 = -96
> LP26 = 96
> LST26 = 96
> LT26 = 96
> .seg "data"
>
> 0000000 0103 0107 0000 0060 0000 0020 0000 0000
> 0000020 0000 0030 0000 0000 0000 0054 0000 0000
> 0000040 033f ffff 8200 63a0 9de3 8001 1100 0000
> 0000060 9012 2000 4000 0000 0100 0000 ba10 0008
> 0000100 1100 0000 9012 2000 4000 0000 0100 00 ba10 0008
> 0000100 1100 0000 9012 2000 4000 0000 0100 0000
> 0000120 80a2 001d 1280 0005 0100 0000 9010 2000
> 0000140 1080 0003 0100 0000 9010 2001 4000 0000
> 0000160 0100 0000 81c7 e008 81e8 0000 0000 0000
> 0000200 4865 6c6c 6f2c 2057 6f72 6c64 0a00 4865
> 0000220 6c6c 6f2c 2057 6f72 6c64 0a00 0000 0000
> 0000240 0000 000c 0000 0608 0000 006e 0000 0010
> 0000260 0000 060b 0000 006e 0000 0014 0000 0286
> 0000300 ffff ffec 0000 0020 0000 0608 0000 0060
> 0000320 0000 0024 0000 060b 0000 0060 0000 0028
> 0000340 0000 0186 ffff ffd8 0000 004c 0000 0386
> 0000360 ffff ffb4 0000 0004 0500 0000 0000 0000
> 0000400 0000 000a 0100 0000 0000 0000 0000 0012
> 0000420 0100 0000 0000 0000 0000 001a 0100 0000
> 0000440 0000 0000 0000 0020 5f6d 6169 6e00 5f70
> 0000460 7269 6e74 6600 5f73 7472 6c65 6e00 5f65
> 0000500 7869 7400
> 0000504
>
> % axe_generate -f system.uhdl
> Application 'Exchange' generated
> 2324042350000000 source code lines
> No Errors detected.
> Hardware retrieval...done OK
> Certification Test...done OK
> Packing..............done OK
> Delivery.............done OK
> Application 'Exchange' delivered to customer
> 23456000 bytes/sec.
> End processing, 2345 seconds.
>
> ===========================
> Ultra high level programmer
> ===========================
>
> system.uhdl :
>
> SYSTEM
> CREATE ScreenWin
> SIZE 20000000/Unit=One
> DESTINATION Order.dest[One]
> OUTPUT CHARACTER['Hello world']
> END
> END
>
> ===========
> New Manager
> ===========
>
> 10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
> 20 END
>
> ==============
> Middle Manager
> ==============
>
> mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12
>
> Bob, could you please write me a program that prints
> "Hello, world."? I need it by tomorrow.
>
> ^D
>
> ==============
> Senior Manager
> ==============
>
> % zmail all
>
> I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.
>
> ===============
> Chief Executive
> ===============
>
> % message
> message: Command not found
> % pm
> pm: Command not found
> % letter
> letter: Command not found.
> % mail
> To: ^X ^F ^C
> > help mail
> help: Command not found.
> >what
> what: Command not found
> >need help
> need: Command not found
> > darn!
> !: Event unrecognized
> >exit
> exit: Unknown
> >quit
> %
> % logout
>
> Bipppp ! Mrs. Thompson? Please page Tommy for me. NOW!
>
>
esnafski.261dr.iivan,
NASA uses Windows? Oh great. If Apollo 13 went off course today the
manual would just tell them to open the airlock, flush the astronauts out,
and re-install new ones.
esnafski.262dr.iivan,
Who Needs a Modem Anyways?
I know that the lusers that I have to deal with know less about their
systems than Madonna knows about virginity, but when they
manage to open the cover of their systems, that's when things get
interesting....painfully interesting.
I'm doing my normal thing one day. Asprin in one hand, lart* in the other
talking to hopeless lusers about how to email, how to
browse...the things that people with half a brain take for granted but what
these fuzz for brains lusers can't seem to do. The phone
rings again. That's always a bad sign. The conversation goes as follows:
Me: Hello. isp_name technical support.
luser: Yes. I am trying to connect and I can't.
Me: Does the modem dial?
luser: No.
Me: What version of windoze are you using?
luser: I'm using windows 3.11.
Me: OK. Do you have a Plug and Play modem?
luser: I don't know what type of modem I have.
Me: Well, are there any manuals that came with the computer that might tell
you what type of modem that you have? If it is PnP it
will not work with the software that we sent you (I would try and explain
the concept of PnP with this luser, however I would
rather save the breath for something more usefull like talking to the
wall).
luser: (Rummages for manuals in the background) I don't think so.
At this point, I try hard to have the computer determine what type of modem
he has. In the middle of my attempts, the luser gets a
stroke of genius and the best is about to come.
luser: (Cuts me off in the middle of speaking) Hang on a second...I have an
idea [1]
At this point I hear the phone hit his desk. I hear some rummaging and then
he gets back on the phone.
luser: Where would it say on the modem what type it is?
Me: (gulp) Sir, is this an internal or external modem?
luser: Internal. I have it in my hand right now. I'm looking at the circuit
board and there are a bunch of jumpers and stuff on it.
Where would it say what type of modem it is?
Me: Sir, did you turn the computer off?
luser: No. I just pulled the cover off and pulled the modem out to look at
it. Is that bad?
Me: [thought to myself] No..that's just GREAT! You fixed the problem. You
have now managed to possibly blow your modem
and maybe your entire computer! I'm only mad cause I didn't think of it
first! It's a great plan! [/thought to myself] Yes sir. You
should now turn the computer off and consult a professional because you may
have damaged your system.
We hang up. This was SO great that I couldn't stand it. A modemless luser
is the easiest luser to fix!
Just had to rant.
--------
[1] At this point, I should have just had him stop right there. When a
luser gets an idea, baaaaaaaaaaad things happen. I should
have told him that he blew a smoke chip and needed a new one and to consult
his local shop ASAP.
-------
* Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool
esnafski.263dr.iivan,
HELP DESK LOG
Monday
8:05am
User called to say they forgot password. Told them to use password
retrieval utility called FDISK. Blissfully ignorant, they thank me
and hang up. God, we let the people vote and drive, too?
8:12am
Accounting called to say they couldn't access expense reports
database.
Gave them Standard Sys Admin Answer #112, "Well, it works for me."
Let them rant and rave while I unplugged my coffeemaker from the UPS and
plugged their server back in. Suggested they try it again.
One more happy customer...
8:14 am
User from 8:05 call said they received error message "Error accessing
Drive 0." Told them it was an OS problem. Transferred them to
microsupport.
11:00 am
Relatively quiet for last few hours. Decide to plug support phone
back in so I can call my girlfriend. Says parents are coming into
town this weekend. Put her on hold and transferred her to janitorial
closet down in basement. What is she thinking? The "Myst" and "Doom"
nationals are this weekend!
11:34 am
Another user calls (do they ever learn?). Says they want ACL changed
on HR performance review database so that nobody but HR can access
database. Tell them no problem. Hang up. Change ACL. Add @MailSend
so performance reviews are sent to */US.
12:00 pm
Lunch
3:30 pm
Return from lunch.
3:55 pm
Wake up from nap. Bad dream makes me cranky. Bounce servers for no
reason. Return to napping.
4:23 pm
Yet another user calls. Wants to know how to change fonts on form.
Ask them what chip set they're using. Tell them to call back when
they find out.
4:55 pm
Decide to run "Create Save/Replication Conflicts" macro so next shift
has something to do.
Tuesday
8:30 am
Finish reading support log from last night. Sounded busy. Terrible
time with Save/Replication conflicts.
9:00 am
Support manager arrives. Wants to discuss my attitude. Click on
PhoneNotes SmartIcon. "Love to, but kinda busy. Put something in the
calendar database!" I yell as I grab for the support lines, which
have (mysteriously) lit up. Walks away grumbling.
9:35 pm
Team leader from R&D needs ID for new employee. Tell them they need
form J-19R=9C9\\DARR\K1. Say they never heard of such a form. Tell
them it's in the SPECIAL FORMS database. Say they never heard of such
a database. Transfer them to janitorial closet in basement.
10:00 am
Perky sounding intern from R&D calls and says she needs new ID. Tell
her I need employee number, department name, manager name, and marital
status. Run @DbLookup against state parole board database, Centers
for Disease Control database, and my Oprah Winfrey database. No hits.
Tell her ID will be ready tonight. Drawing from the lessons learned
in last week's "Reengineering for Customer Partnership," I offer to
personally deliver ID to her apartment.
10:07 am
Janitor stops by to say he keeps getting strange calls in basement.
Offer to train him on Notes. Begin now. Let him watch console while
I grab a smoke.
1:00 pm
Return from smoking break. Janitor says phones kept ringing, so he
transferred them to cafeteria lady. I like this guy.
1:05 pm
Big commotion! Support manager falls in hole left where I pulled
floor tiles outside his office door. Stress to him importance of not
running in computer room, even if I do yell "Omigod -- Fire!"
1:15 pm
Development Standards Committee calls and complains about umlauts in
form names. Apologizing for the inconvenience, I tell them I will fix
it. Hang up and run global search/replace using gaks.
1:20 pm
Mary Hairnet from cafeteria calls. Says she keeps getting calls for
"Notice Loads" or "NoLoad Goats," she's not sure, couldn't hear over
industrial-grade blender. Tell her it was probably "Lettuce Nodes."
Maybe the food distributor with a new product? She thinks about it
and hangs up.
2:00 pm
Legal secretary calls and says she lost password. Ask her to check in
her purse, floor of car, and on bathroom counter. Tell her it
probably fell out of back of machine. Suggest she put duct tape over
all the airvents she can find on the PC. Grudgingly offer to create
new ID for her while she does that.
2:49 pm
Janitor comes back. Wants more lessons. I take off rest of day.
Wednesday
8:30 am
Irate user calls to say chipset has nothing to do with fonts on form.
Tell them Of course, they should have been checking "Bitset," not
"chipset." Sheepish user apologizes and hangs up.
9:10am
Support manager, with foot in cast, returns to office. Schedules
10:00am meeting with me. User calls and wants to talk to support
manager about terrible help at support desk. Tell them manager about
to go into meeting. Sometimes life hands you material...
10:00 am
Call Louie in janitorial services to cover for me. Go to support
manager's office. He says he can't dismiss me but can suggest several
lateral career moves. Most involve farm implements in third-world
countries with moderate to heavy political turmoil. By and by, I ask
if he's aware of a new bug which takes full-text indexed random e-mail
databases and puts all references to furry handcuffs and Bambi Boomer
into Marketing on the corporate Web page. Meeting is adjourned as he
reaches for keyboard, Web browser, and Tums.
10:30 am
Tell Louie he's doing great job. Offer to show him mainframe
corporate PBX system sometime.
11:00 am
Lunch.
4:55 pm
Return from lunch.
5:00 pm
Shift change; Going home.
Thursday
8:00 am
New guy ("Marvin") started today. "Nice plaids" I offer. Show him
server room, wiring closet, and technical library. Set him up with
IBM PC-286XT. Tell him to quit whining, Notes runs the same in both
monochrome and color.
8:45 am
New guy's PC finishes booting up. Tell him I'll create new ID for
him. Set minimum password length to 64. Go grab smoke.
9:30 am
Introduce Louie the custodian to Marvin. "Nice plaids" Louie
comments. Is this guy great or what?!
11:00 am
Beat Louie in dominos game. Louie leaves. Fish spare dominos out of
sleeves ("Always have backups"). User Van calls, says Accounting
server is down. Untie Ethernet cable from radio antenna (better
reception) and plug back into hub. Tell user to try again. Another
happy customer!
11:55 am
Brief Marvin on Corporate Policy 98.022.01: "Whereas all new employee
beginning on days ending in 'Y' shall enjoy all proper aspects with
said corporation, said employee is obligated to provide sustenance and
relief to senior technical analyst on shift." Marvin doubts. I point
to "Corporate Policy" database (a fine piece of work, if I say so
myself!). "Remember, that's DOUBLE pepperoni and NO peppers!" I yell to
Marvin as he steps over open floor tile to get to exit door.
1:00 pm
Oooooh! Pizza makes me so sleepy...
4:30 pm
Wake from refreshing nap. Catch Marvin scanning want ads.
5:00 pm
Shift change. Flick HR's server off and on several times (just
testing the On/Off button...). See ya tomorrow.
Friday
8:00 am
Night shift still trying to replace power supply in HR server. Told
them it worked fine before I left.
9:00 am
Marvin still not here. Decide I might start answering these calls
myself. Unforward phones from Mailroom.
9:02 am
Yep. A user call. Users in Des Moines can't replicate. Me and the
Oiuji board determine it's sunspots. Tell them to call
Telecommunications.
9:30 am
Good God, another user! They're like ants. Says he's in San Diego
and can't replicate with Des Moines. Tell him it's sunspots, but with
a two-hour difference. Suggest he reset the time on the server back
two hours.
10:17 am
Pensacola calls. Says they can't route mail to San Diego. Tell them
to set server ahead three hours.
11:00 am
E-mail from corporate says for everybody to quit resetting the time on
their servers. I change the date stamp and forward it to Milwaukee.
11:20 am
Finish @CoffeeMake macro. Put phone back on hook.
11:23 am
Milwaukee calls, asks what day it is.
11:25 am
Support manager stops by to say Marvin called in to quit. "So hard to
get good help..." I respond. Support manager says he has appointment
with orthopedic doctor this afternoon, and asks if I mind sitting in
on the weekly department head meeting for him. "No problem!"
11:30 am
Call Louie and tell him opportunity knocks and he's invited to a
meeting this afternoon. "Yeah, sure. You can bring your snuff" I
tell him.
12:00 am
Lunch.
1:00 pm
Start full backups on UNIX server. Route them to device NULL to make
them fast.
1:03 pm
Full weekly backups done. Man, I love modern technology!
2:30 pm
Look in support manager's contact management database. Cancel 2:45 pm
appointment for him. He really should be at home resting, you know.
2:39 pm
New user calls. Says wants to learn how to create a connection
document. Tell them to run connection document utility CTRL-ALT-DEL.
Says PC rebooted. Tell them to call microsupport.
2:50 pm
Support manager calls to say mix-up at doctor's office means
appointment canceled. Says he's just going to go on home. Ask him if
he's seen corporate Web page lately.
3:00 pm
Another (novice) user calls. Says periodic macro not working. Suggest
they place @DeleteDocument at end of formula. Promise to send them
document addendum which says so.
4:00 pm
Finish changing foreground color in all documents to white. Also set
point size to "2" in help databases.
4:30 pm
User calls to say they can't see anything in documents. Tell them to
go to view, do a "Edit -- Select All", hit delete key, and then
refresh. Promise to send them document addendum which says so.
4:45 pm
Another user calls. Says they can't read help documents. Tell them
I'll fix it. Hang up. Change font to Wingdings.
4:58 pm
Plug coffee maker into Ethernet hub to see what happens. Not (too)
much.
5:00 pm
Night shift shows up. Tell them the hub is acting funny and to have a
good weekend.
esnafski.264dalex,
Sve je to od lošeg Win-a :)
esnafski.265apostol,
-> #264, dalex> Sve je to od lošeg Win-a :)
Isto esnafski, ali iz polja automobilizma u vreme sankcija:
Sve je to od lošeg benzina!
JoTzoqA
esnafski.266rkramer,
sale.car -- jesi spichkao nekad litar bear-a u sebe ? :)
milosh.zorica -- Cao:) ^^^^^^
sale.car -- desi :)
jjerry -- yesam..
jjerry -- u Kasini..
^^^^^^^^^^
jjerry -- mislim..
sale.car -- sho ti moras uvek da uletis kad ja pricam o beru ? :)
jjerry -- 7 dinzi..za kriglu od 0,5l :)
^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^
sale.car -- sace rkr da ga naxvali ;)
rkramer -- :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
sale.car -- eto :)
sale.car -- znao sam :)
rkramer -- Ovo ide u viceve!
Tko razume, shvatio je ;)
esnafski.267rdejan,
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English," he
explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some
languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.
However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a
double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up. "Yeah, right."
esnafski.268epson,
│ Ali po svim testovima u 2d Diamond Viper V330 je brzi od
│ Maxtora. Ako nisi znao Diamond Viper V330 je najbrza 2D
│ ^^^^^^^
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────
:))
esnafski.269johnnya,
From: "Tanaskovic Jovan" <jovant@eunet.yu>
Newsgroups: yu.oglasi
Subject: PRODAJEM CD-WIN98 FINAL!!!!
Prodajem WINDOWS 98 FINAL verzija.
Datum 4.10.1988.
Cena 10DM.
esnafski.270epson,
Naletim na neki emisijiu, na Politici, u kojoj govore o internetu:
...... webmaster ..... (govor na engleskom)
.."majstor na mreži".. (titl)
esnafski.271alien,
===============================
3.1525 SEZAMNET.2:problemi
****, 23.09.98. 17:22, 145 chr
Odgovor na 3.1522, ********, 23.09.98. 15:00
---------------------------------------------------------
Pozadina mi je skroz crvena !!!
Jel' to sezam definitivno puko ? :)
-----------------------------------
Nije to te neko trpao u bulju ;>>>
----------------------------------------------- 3.1525---
Pretpostavljam da će tamo biti obrisano, a ovde je pravo mesto
da se kreativnost sačuva... ;)
*
O eventualnoj nagradi ću se u svojstvu recenzenta i izdavača
dogovoriti s oba autora... :)))
esnafski.272miskop,
Subject: MicroSoft vs. GENERAL MOTORS
Kaže ovako:
Na kompjuterskom sajmu ComDex, Bill Gates je uporedio MicroSoft (MS)
tehnologiju sa tehnologijom General Motors-a (GM).
Kaže: "Da GM isto tako brzo razvija svoju tehnologiju kao MS, danas bi
se vozili u automobilu koji košta 25$ i to sa 1 galonom goriva na 1000
milja."
Na njegovu izjavu, GM su zvanično objavili:
Da GM svoje automobile konstruiše kao MS Windows 95, verovatno bi danas
vozili ovakva vozila:
1: Naš Automobil bi, bez ikakvog razloga, dva puta dnevno napravio neki
sudar.
2: Svaki put kada bi se markirale nove bele linije po putu, svi bi
morali da kupe nov auto.
3: Kad-tad bi se auto jednostavno UGASIO!
4: I u krivinama bi se auto jednostavno gasio, pa bi morali motor ponovo
instalirati.
5: Lampice koje javljaju o stanju ulja, stanju akumulatora i
temperature, bi se stalno palile i javljale neki "težak generalni kvar".
6: AirBag system bi pre otvaranja pitao: "Da li stvarno želite da se
otvori ?!"
7: Uvek kada bi GM izbacio neki novi model, svi bi morali ponovo da
nauče da voze.
8: Morate pritisnuti START dugme da bi se ugasio.
esnafski.273apostol,
Evo jednog dobrog starog... esnafskog... uz malu adaptaciju s moje
strane da bi bilo kompatibilno sa Win95 i sl. pošto je u vreme
nastanka bilo "c:/dos/" i sl. a toga više nema... :))))))
CONFIG.SYS
falus = 80
buttfuckers = 25
devica = c:/vagindows/himen.sys
devica = c:/vagindows/jebemm386.exe kaRAM
dos = high
don'ts = pregnant
devicahigh = c:/windows/anus.sys /x
shell = c:/condom.com /e:512 /p
AUTOEXEC.BAT
Žclothes off (Ž = majmun, koristim Yuscii)
path = c:/vagindows; c:/vagindows/condom; c:/util;
lh c:/util/mousse.com
lh c:/vagindows/condom/msfucdex.exe /D:MSCD001 /L:E
echo Prijatno.
JoTzoqA
esnafski.274dr.grba,
Na novosadskom Sajmu informatike, moj kolega i njegova devojka prilaze
tipu iz PTT-a i raspituju se o dial-in linijama u Novom Sadu.
- Sa koliko linija raspolažete?
- Trenutno sa trideset, ali vrlo uskoro će ih biti još.
- Šta? Imate vezu u pošti?
Tip je prvo pet sekundi treptao, a onda je skakao po štandu u
nekontrolisanom napadu smeha.
esnafski.275kiki,
-> #274, dr.grba> Na novosadskom Sajmu informatike, moj kolega i njegova devojka prilaze
E kolega ti je vrlo... ;)))
esnafski.276sjocic,
Najava za novi film u nasim bioskopima :)
win95.zipesnafski.277miskop,
Slomio programer nogu i zove da mu neko pomogne:
F1, F1, F1, F1, F1
esnafski.278obren,
Opšte je poznato da je znanje moć (tj. snaga), a da je vreme novac, odnosno:
Znanje = Snaga, Vreme = Novac
Takođe je poznato da se snaga u fizici definiše kao:
Snaga = Rad / Vreme
Ako u ovu jednakost uvrstimo 'Snagu' i 'Vreme', dobijamo ekvivalentu
jednakost:
Znanje = Rad / Novac
odnosno, ako rešimo po novcu:
Novac = Rad / Znanje
Odakle se vidi da 'Novac' teži beskonačnosti kada 'Znanje' teži nuli.
Drugim rečima: što manje znaš, to više vrediš.
esnafski.279corgan,
-> #278, obrenSjajno!
esnafski.280phillipov,
-> #278, obrenZaista SJAJNO!
esnafski.281jjerry,
Bila anketa u beogradskim srednjim shkolama povodom velike
ekspanzije interneta ,a na temu cybersex-a...
I doshli tako ljudi u XIII gimnaziju, pitaju choveka :
- Je li ,shta ti mislish o cybersexu kao mogutjoj zameni za pravu
stvar poshto,ono,sida hara..
- shta - sexu ?
Otishli u tretju,isti sluchaj..
- Koji je tvoj stav o cybersexu ?
- shta - sexu ? Shta prichash bre..
Vide ljudi niko ne kapira,odu u matematichku..
- Jel'te ,shta vi mislite o cybersexu ?
- cyber - shta ?
Ko razume ,shvatitje,MG rulZ ;))
esnafski.282ultra.boy,
-> #281, jjerry
> Ko razume ,shvatitje,MG rulZ ;))
Apsolutno! :)
Jel znas ti ono :
Imao otac dve cerke, jedna otisla u Matematicku gimnaziju,
a druga se pretplatila na Sezam :)
esnafski.283sfilip,
-> #282, ultra.boy> Imao otac dve cerke, jedna otisla u Matematicku gimnaziju,
> a druga se pretplatila na Sezam :)
može to i ovako: Imao otac dve ćerke, jedna otišla u MG a druga nije imala
brkove ;)
esnafski.284ventura,
-> #283, sfilip> moze to i ovako: Imao otac dve cerke, jedna otisla u MG a druga nije imala
> brkove ;)
Muhahahahaaaa.
esnafski.285ventura,
evo jednog bisera sa Set-a...
Neki tip postavi pitanje u net.science:
Cuo sam da je ajnstajn pobijen.
Dali je to istina?
----------------------------------
Ma ne... Covek je umro prirodnom smrcu.
:>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
p.s. Misli se na teoriju, naravno.
esnafski.286corgan,
-> #285, venturaTo je bilo u conf:civilzacija>NAUKA
esnafski.287noay,
-> #285, ventura >> p.s. Misli se na teoriju, naravno.
Ja sam napisao poruku<ovu u vezi sa prirodnom smrtju>
i ne mogu da verujem da neko moze da pomilsi da se
nisam zezao..;>
esnafski.288qpele,
-> #281, jjerry> Vide ljudi niko ne kapira,odu u matematichku..
>
> - Jel'te ,shta vi mislite o cybersexu ?
> - cyber - shta ?
>
> Ko razume ,shvatitje,MG rulZ ;))
Ja sam cuo isti vic, samo da studentima ETF :)
esnafski.289sfilip,
-> #288, qpele3>> - Jel'te ,shta vi mislite o cybersexu ?
>> - cyber - shta ?
>>
>> Ko razume ,shvatitje,MG rulZ ;))
>
>
>Ja sam cuo isti vic, samo da studentima ETF :)
da i? kakva je razlika? Pa etf je samo produžetak, nastavak mg-a ;)
osim za par srećnika koji biraju fon, ekonomiju ili poljoprivredu ;)
esnafski.290pifat,
New Windows 95 Error list
Microsoft forgot to explain them in the manuals, so they will
be spread via the Internet:
> WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger
> WinErr: 002 No Error - Yet
> WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in
every file
> WinErr: 004 Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong
> WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted - System confused
> WinErr: 006 Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
> WinErr: 007 System price error - Inadequate money spent on
hardware
> WinErr: 008 Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments
> WinErr: 009 Horrible bug encountered - God knows what has
happened
> WinErr: 00A Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
> WinErr: 00B Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB
> WinErr: 00C Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More!
More!
> WinErr: 00D Window closed - Do not look outside
> WinErr: 00E Window open - Do not look inside
> WinErr: 00F Unexplained error - Please tell us how this
happened
> WinErr: 010 Reserved for future mistakes by our developers
> WinErr: 011 Window open - Do not look outside
> WinErr: 012 Window closed - Do not look inside
> WinErr: 013 Unexpected error - Huh ?
> WinErr: 014 Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of.
> WinErr: 018 Unrecoverable error - System has been destroyed.
Buy a new one. Old Windows licence is not
valid anymore.
> WinErr: 019 User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!
> WinErr: 01A Operating system overwritten - Please reinstall
all your
> software. We are terribly sorry.
> WinErr: 01B Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this
error. Next time you will get a penalty for that.
> WinErr: 01C Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be
inadequate.
> WinErr: 01D System crash - We are unable to figure out our
own code.
> WinErr: 01E Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait.
And wait.
> WinErr: 01F Reserved for future mistakes of our developers.
> WinErr: 020 Error recording error codes - Additional errors
will be lost.
> WinErr: 042 Virus error - A virus has been activated in a
dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows.
All tasks will automatically be closed and the
virus will be activated again.
> WinErr: 079 Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been
installed. Please click the left mouse button to
continue.
> WinErr: 103 Error buffer overflow - Too many errors
encountered. Additional errors may not be
displayed or recorded.
> WinErr: 678 This will end your Windows session. Do you want
to play another game?
> WinErr: 683 Time out error - Operator fell asleep while
waiting for the system to complete boot
procedure.
> WinErr: 815 Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes
available
esnafski.291madamov,
Subject: Windows 2000 Announcement
From: "John Barrymore" <john@barrymore.com>
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1998 18:33:36 -0800
Microsoft announced today that the planned 1999 release of Windows 2000 will
be delayed until the first quarter of 1900.
John Barrymore
john@barrymore.com
Barrymore Information Technology, Inc.
Mountain View, CA
http://www.barrymore.com
esnafski.292evol,
Noc pred kosovsku bitku...
Tzv. Knezeva Vecera...
Sede za stolom Car Lazar, Milos Obilic, Toplica Milan, Kosancic Ivan i ostala
gospoda i rolaju dzokove...
Napravili krug i kada je dzok prolazio treci krug prica Milos Obilic:
MO: Sutra.....cu da ubijem...Murata.....
Car Lazar: Milose, Istripovao si...
esnafski.293dbambi,
=> NAJPOVOLJNIJE NA SVETU :
=> RACUNARI Pentium & Pentium II
:))
Bambi
esnafski.294nenad,
"Imagine the disincentive to software development if after months
of work another company could come along and copy your work and
market it under its own name... without legal restraints to such
copying, companies like Apple could not affor to advance the state
of the art."
Bill Gates, 1983 (New York Times, 25 Sep 1983, p. F2)
esnafski.295petarg,
-> #281, jjerry>Bila anketa u beogradskim srednjim shkolama povodom velike
>ekspanzije interneta ,a na temu cybersex-a...
Isto to samo na je anketa na fakultetima.
I odu prvo novinari na Ekonomski, pa pitaju:
-Kakav je vaš svav o cybersex-u?
-Šta-sexu?
Odu na Pravni i pitaju opet:
-Šta mislite o cybersex-u?
-Šta-sexu?
Sete se u čemu je stvar, pa odu na ETF:
-Koje je vaše mišljenje o cybersex-u?
-Cyber-šta?
Dopuna:
Pošto još nisu dobili odgovor na svoje pitanje, odu na PMF:
-Šta mislite o cybersex-u?
-Šta, šta?
JG
esnafski.296pperica,
Kako razlikovati hakera od korisnika racunara?
Korisnik racunara misli da u kilobajtu ima 1000 bajta.
Haker misli da u kilometru ima 1024 metra.
esnafski.297johnnya,
APSTINENCIJA (def.) postoji ako i samo ako je koeficijent
obrta suprotnog pola za nedelju dana manji od 0.142857
esnafski.298nenad,
The sexual habits of the computer professional
==============================================
The world in general likes to believe that the insular computer boffin
does not know the meaning of love-making. Of course this is not true.
Most IT specialists have healthy and rewarding sex lives - often with
other humans - which keep them bright and smiling as they tap away at
the keyboard and chuckle at the fading Dilbert cartoon stuck to their
monitor. And the true professional always behaves faithfully to his
chosen development environment - even in the bedroom....
Pascal
------
You make love to your girlfriend.
BASIC
-----
You waggle your penis ineffectually at your girlfriend.
Visual BASIC
------------
You get a tattoo on your penis, then waggle it ineffectually at your
girlfriend.
C++
---
Both your girlfriend and her cousin use the same method of love-making
with you. Unfortunately, they both inherited it from their father, and
you painfully waddle home sporting an anus like the Japanese flag.
COBOL
-----
IF SLAPPED_FACE
NEXT SENTENCE
ELSE
PERFORM A_FONDLE_BREASTS
THRU
B_APOLOGISE_FOR_MESS
VARYING W_GRIMACE
UNTIL W_TESTICLES_EMPTY = TRUE.
SQL
---
You make love to your girlfriend, but it takes hours, and everyone in
the street has to wait until you've finished before they can make love
to their partners. When you've finished, you tell your girlfriend that
you're not committed to her, and she pretends you never made love in the
first place.
Assembly language
-----------------
You spend weeks with a propelling pencil and some graph paper planning
exactly how youĺre going to make love to your girlfriend, but when the
moment comes you end up enthusiastically buggering the cat. Afterwards
you pretend that you wanted to do that anyway.
Unix
----
You want to make love to your girlfriend the really clever way you did
it yesterday, but you've forgotten it.
NT
--
Someone else regularly makes ActiveLove(TM) to your girlfriend without
asking you, and you can never catch the fucker at it and don't know how
to make them stop.
Microsoft Word '97
------------------
You proudly unveil your erection in the bedroom. Your girlfriend winks
at you and says "It looks like you're going to have a wee. Would you
like some help with weeing?".
C
-
Every time you make love to your partner, your penis points in a
different direction. You don't notice until eventually it points
straight up your own arse.
Java
----
You learn a technique which is supposed to bring any girl to orgasm, but
it only works with your mother.
esnafski.299petarg,
This is apparently a true report!
Cheers!
The Sony Viao machines have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful
Microsoft error messages with their own Japanese haiku poetry.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Web site you seek
Can not be located but
Countless more exist
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask way too much.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
esnafski.300miskop,
Microsoft announced today that the official release
date for its new Windows 2000 operating system will
be delayed until the second quarter of 1901.
esnafski.301sljubisic,
Just received this and want to share it with you:
In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve Ballmer
revealed that the Redmond-based company will allow computer resellers
and end-users to customize the appearance of the Blue Screen of Death
(BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating system
crashes.
The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and customer
surveys done by Microsoft. Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked,
"What do you spend the most time doing on your computer?"
A surprising number of respondents said, "Staring at a Blue Screen of
Death." At 54 percent, it was the top answer, beating the second place
answer "Downloading XXXScans" by an easy 12 points.
"We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for ourselves,
our channel partners, and especially our customers," explained the
excited Ballmer to a room full of reporters.
Immense video displays were used to show images of the new
customizable BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static version.
Users can select from a collection of "BSOD Themes," allowing them to
instead have a Mauve Screen of Death or even a Paisley Screen of Death.
Graphics and multimedia content can now be incorporated into the
screen, making the BSOD the perfect conduit for delivering product
information and entertainment to Windows users.
The BSOD is by far the most recognized feature of the Windows
operating system, and as a result, Microsoft has historically insisted
on total control over its look and feel. This recent departure from
that policy reflects Microsoft's recognition of the Windows desktop
itself as the "ultimate information portal." By default, the new BSOD
will be configured to show a random selection of Microsoft product
information whenever the system crashes. Microsoft channel partners
can negotiate with Microsoft for the right to customize the BSOD on
systems they ship.
Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell are
already lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD.
Ballmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open Source
community. "This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to
innovate at a much faster pace than open source. I have yet to see any
evidence that Linux even has a BSOD, let alone a customizable one."
esnafski.302nenad,
The other night I was having sex, but the girl hung up on me.
esnafski.303nenad,
A mother and her daughter came to the doctor's office. The mother
asked the doctor to examine her daughter. "She has been having some strange
symptoms and I'm worried about her," the mother said.
The doctor examined the daughter carefully. Then he announced,
"Madam, I believe your daughter is pregnant."
The mother gasped. "That's nonsense!" she said. "Why, my little
girl has never even been out with a man, let alone... let alone..." She
turns to the girl and said, "Tell the doctor, Susie!"
"Yes, Mumsy," said the girl. "Doctor, I have never so much as
kissed a man!"
The doctor looked from the mother to daughter, and back again. Then,
silently he stood up and walked to the window. He stared out. He continued
staring until the mother felt compelled to ask, "Doctor, is there something
wrong out there?"
"No, Madam," said the doctor. "It's just that the last time anything
like this happened, a star appeared in the East and I was looking to see if
another one was going to show up."
esnafski.304miskop,
If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft...
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support.
Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try
eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What
kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration
problem. How was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to
do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you
noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup
of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check.
I'm running late now.
[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup
and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[waiter leaves.]
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . $1.00
esnafski.305miskop,
January 1, 2000
Dear Valued Employee:
Re: Vacation Pay
Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past
100 year(s). As I'm sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of
paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off. One additional week is
granted for every 5 years of service. Please either take 9,400 days off work
or notify our office and your next pay check will reflect payment of
$8,277,432.22 which will include all pay and interest for the past 1,200
months.
Sincerely,
Automated Payroll Processing
esnafski.306miskop,
The following are new Windows messages that are under
consideration for the planned Windows 2000:
1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
3. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
4. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
5. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another
game?
6. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
7. This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please
log off."
8. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN"
9. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
10. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any
key.
11. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
12. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
13. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
14. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
15. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
16. User Error: Replace user.
17. Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"
18. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles
have been deleted. The police are on the way.
19. User Error: Intelligence Resource Level Insufficient
20. Netscape.exe... Bad file name...
May we suggest M/S Internet Explorer? (Y/y)
esnafski.307obren,
Da li biste 1978. godine uložili novac u akcije ove kompanije? ;)
micropic.jpgesnafski.308legolas,
Mali hrvatski recnik racunarstva u html fajlu
hrv.htm